The Gurupok

2011 --> 2012

2012-01-04T00:54:00.003+08:00

As with every year, this post is gonna be about my resolutions for 2012.

As for 2011, I would not say if its a good or bad year, but i feel its a year of new experiences. And I hope I'll be doing alot more wonderful things in 2012. So here's a reflection of some of the things done in 2011.

1. SMRT

Did 4 months of part-time job under the credit and billing department of SMRT (taxis) immediately after i ORD-ed in Nov 2010. Job wise, I would say its kinda boring. Its an administrative part-time job, so i think i cant really compare that with other jobs or even other admin part-time job in a bank. Pay wasn't that great either. The only thing i thought was positive about the working experience is the friends i made there and the many people that i got to know through the job.

Honestly, I wasn't the kind of people who will take initiative to meet up with people, or even organize mini outings. Perhaps i use to do that in the past, but not really now. (maybe for really close friends only) But i think i'm fortunate to have friends who took initiatives to meet up/plan for gatherings. Thought i kinda ignore them at times, which i do feel bad, but i really appreciate what they have done. Hopefully, we can maintain contact for as long as possible.

2. Europe Backpacking Trip

My first backpacking trip. The first trip that was planned by ourselves. I think overall we had fun, though there were moments whereby we did have disagreements. I guess the whole experience has been a fruitful one. It made me realize that its doesn't require that much money to travel if proper planning was done. It exposes me to the concept of backpacking and made me realize that backpacking trip wasn't as scary as some may think. And lastly, it really make me wanna travel to more places to see new things and learn new things as well.

3. SMU Scholarship

I think i have said this several times, but i really do feel very fortunate to be awarded a SMU scholarship. Financially, the scholarship really help a great deal. At least i do not have to depend on my parents or bank loans to finance my undergrad studies and at least i know that i will not enter the workforce with debt. With the scholarship, i think i am a step closer to being financially independent for my 4/5 years in uni. Not totally independent financially cause i still take allowance from my parents, but at least it allows me to attempt to fund some things personally. Ultimately, i hope that the only money i receive from my parents would be for my weekly allowance. I'm currently trying to fund those overseas trips and additional summer term studies myself, as well as random stuff like textbooks. I think i still need more financial discipline to ensure these though, but i know its definitely do-able.

4. SMU year 1 first semester

Results are out. My grades were good. Frankly speaking, I have mixed feelings about my results. On one hand i think my results were overly good considering how badly i did for the finals for certain modules. On the other hand, I thought i could have done better if i were to put in that additional bit of effort. I'm still very disappointed that i was giving up during the finals papers. And that is why i did extremely bad for the finals. And i'm really glad that the other components have helped to pull up my overall grades. Now that first semester is over, I'm starting to worry for 2nd semester due to AW.

I think i have been rather fortunate/lucky for the first semester for the following reasons. I made several really good friends. Friends who were humble and always willing to help me out with things in general. I seriously seriously hope that the friendship will remain even though we're not taking the same modules this coming semester. These people are really great and i just cant emphasis enough. Secondly, I think i had been lucky that some people i knew had actually helped me in certain mods. Not only did this person gave me feedback/guidance as to how to do well in the subject, she also pushed me to achieve a extremely good grade for class participation. And lastly, I think i was lucky to have bided the "right" prof. There were times when people will tell you that the particular prof that you have bided sucks and stuff, but i guess i am quite lucky that whatever i wrote for my individual report is to the prof's liking. And since the mod is a subjective module, the way we present our ideas makes quite a big difference actually.

5. OCSP to Nepal

Its an eye-opening experience for me. Basically, it changed my impression of several things. I had the impression that most people are joining the project for the sake of completing the 80 hours instead of truely wanting to make an impact. Overall, I would say that the project idea was 10 points, Organization if any, 3 points, and leadership 1 point.

And here's my new year resolutions to 2012:

1. To travel to at least 2 countries. (and hopefully unusual ones)

2. Maintain my GPA at above 3.6. I aim to score at least 2 A+ for this coming semester to compensate for the shortfall in AW.

3. To complete reading at least 1 book per month. Its extremely achievable, but i'll just keep it at 1 book per month as the main point is to cultivate a habit of reading.

4. To do more good deeds. =) I'm looking at doing something on a regular basis. There's one idea on my mind now and i hope to find a few more interesting ideas.

5. To get started on my long term CSP.

6. To complete another 2 component of my NYAA gold.

7. To know what I want to achieve in life.

Uni Life

2011-10-16T23:47:00.003+08:00

It has been 2 months since i last posted here. Time passes quickly without one realizing. School is hectic. Maybe its the lack of time to do everything we wanna do, but i guess its just the lack of motivation in myself to get things done.

School work is barely manageable i would say. Not that I'm currently dying from the workload. Seriously, its OKAY. I just need more discipline to get things done. Projects are definitely piling up, and I really need to get them done before its done for submission. Cant imagine trying to rush out reports at the very last minute considering that almost all projects are due on the same week. Not mentioning the need to study for final paper too.

Mid terms had just ended yesterday, with Stats being the last paper. Not really confident, yet not worried about the results just yet. I just all the studying has made me realized that perhaps there are more meaningful things in life to worry about and to strive for. It kind of stressful to study in a environment where everyone tries to put in twice the effort and time to study compared to others and aims to get full marks for every exam. I mean.. since when did anyone strive to obtain FULL MARKS for all papers?

The mid terms was a good feedback on my studying method. Realized i could have improved on the way I study and revise. I wish I could do it regularly instead of pushing everything to the few weeks before the paper.

After much procrastination, I finally went to apply for my NYAA Gold booklet. I hope to force myself to be involved in other activities other than studies. And honestly, its not really easy to achieve something great outside of your studies in SMU, simply because everyone is so tied up with academic stuff and the lack of opportunities in school. And so, I hope i'll be motivated enough to find more interesting things to do throughout the next 4 years. One is of cause the Nepal OCSP trip this coming December. And another, is to volunteer for something thats on a longer term. I have something in mind, but has yet to sign up. I think i will do so next year. Its definitely something on my radar now.

Next upcoming event shall be my OCSP trip to Nepal this coming December. I find this whole CSP idea unique and interesting and thats why I signed up, despite the one major factor that made me think through over and over again. But things aren't looking too good now. Kind of worry for the success of this OCSP trip. I hope things will turn out fine. Again, I really need to do more things to contribute to the team. Too lazy to mention all the thoughts and feelings here, but things are over and i'm still gonna go for this trip and make the best out of it.

I'm also starting to get bored with my CCA. Somehow, it wasn't really what i have expected it to be. And so, I think i will be looking at joining some other CCAs next year. But meanwhile, I'm hoping to join some other events committee, something which will give me a sense of achievement/satisfaction. Think the interview sessions and application windows for most events are closed. But i'm still trying to see if i can be involved in some Bizcom committee. I'm considering joining the committee to plan for a CSP for the CSD people. Think it'll be something we will give me the scope to learn alot of new things.

Have been wondering over the past few weeks regarding the purpose of having an undergrad education. 4 years of education, 4 years of rushing to get work done, 4 years of intense mugging... what's our purpose? What is my purpose? What do I hope to achieve at the end of 4 years? Are all the efforts worth it? And precisely because of all these random thoughts that I start to see things differently, and to place lesser emphasis/importance on grades. So what if I get a 4.0 GPA? Will I be happy if at the end of 4 years, all I get is good grades and nothing else? Not even memories of what i did, what I managed to accomplish and so on. Sometimes, after much thoughts, i start to ask myself if I'm in the position to complain about school life. Ultimately, I'm being paid to study well in school. What else do I have to complain about? Should I even be complaining ?

LTB Meeting

2011-08-30T01:31:00.002+08:00

Alright, just had our group's first online meeting via skype. Total waste of time, not efficient at all.

First, its always hard to conduct an efficient online meeting without much discipline within the group. What i mean is, its difficult to control when and what people wanna say something, and thus, we ended up talking about several topics (plus a few random topics) at the same time, or that there will be people talking about 2 separate ideas together.

Next, the issue of wanting to make decision together as a group and yet not being able to have a complete group meeting. They see making decision as a group as wanting everybody's vote when considering simple things such as team name. Of cos, team name can be important. Of cos, getting everyone's views and votes is important, but how can be possibly do that when we never had a complete meeting with everyone present for the whole duration of the meeting? Then we'll just end up postpone-ing all decision-making to subsequent meetings. And sad to say, these decisions will never be made since we don't have the commitment of everybody. Seriously, after writing the previous post and realizing the different commitments that you guys might have, I felt bad feeling that way or having certain thoughts, but once again, I still feel that the commitment level isn't there.

Next, it's so hard to work in a group when they are people who are so insistent on their ideas. Seriously, its ok if the idea is good, but it's not if the idea does not has a strong backing. It gives me the feeling that you saying every thought you have without thinking through if they are relevant. And thereafter try to defend your ideas. Worse, you feel that we are shooting your ideas down when we may not be.

And lastly, I can stand people rushing through work to produce some low quality work to submit. Why rush through a sponsorship proposal when you (should) know that we only have ONE chance to seek sponsorship from each company, and that if we fail to get anything with the first letter, thats it.

I keep having the feeling that we just keep having the "ideal thought" that we can get at least 1 sponsor, which i honestly feel is quite difficult. And frankly speaking, having this feeling during/after every meeting can be scary..

First Project Group Meeting

2011-08-23T15:13:00.002+08:00

I dont understand my group. Seriously.

First, you dont read through the requirements/guildlines beforehand even when you have been told to do so. Next, you don brainstorm for ideas before meetings. Then you start thinking of all these wonderful ideas without considering the limitations that we have.

Worse of all, you guys keep having the impression that seeking sponsorship is something that comes easily. Hey! Please wake up from your dreams!

Week 1 of school...

2011-08-22T03:25:00.002+08:00

Its 3.26am now, on a sunday night, or rather monday morning, and i should be sleeping. Yet, I decided that no matter what, i should get this post up before going to bed. And so, here i am, trying to write down my thoughts and experiences for the past one week plus.

BOSS bidding session:

How and where do i start? Its not something I look forward to, neither is it something which i hate. I think perhaps its just that I haven gotten the tricks with bidding. Nevertheless, after one big round of "drama", I've finally gotta the ideal 4.5CUs for this sem, without having to take a particular mod with a slightly demanding prof. Really glad that things turned out well for me in the second window. I've got a friend who is still bidding for her mods when it has been 1 week into school. Thats one of the few faults that i find in the whole bidding system. Apart from that, i think bidding is all about beating the system and working smart to get your mods, yet remain "wealthy".

School:

My experience with school thus far has been good. Have been busy searching for textbooks (which i ended up buying first-hand), going for meet-ups for camp friends, attending lessons and making new friends in class out of just a simple conversation. I cant say that there will not be any changes to my current views, but i think i like the way SMU "forces" students to volunteer to step out of their comfort zone and talk to others and make friends. Somehow, i like the way it works.

School work hasn't been too demanding to be honest, but i kept having the feeling that there wasn't enough time to complete whatever that has to be done for class, on top of having a "life/lifestyle" and handling CCAs. Adjustments take time perhaps.

Random thoughts:

I've always view entering uni as a totally new chapter in life, and its a time when you take bold steps to achieve whatever you set out to achieve. There are so many things that I hope to achieve by the end of the 4 years. Its really a time for one to do as much things as possible within these 4 years, because once you enter workforce, you'll seldom get the time and/or freedom to do certain crazy stuff. And so far, there are certain things which I've set out to do.

1. Obtain my double degree in 4 years.

2. Go for OCSP

3. Be part of the organising committee for a OCSP

4. Overseas exchange

5. Overseas internship (Haven really considered the possibility)

6. NYAA Gold (something which i thought of today, which i thought would be one of the great ways to sum up my uni non-academic experiences.

7. Committing myself to a long-term CIP. (Have an idea in mind, but have yet to take any actions. Afraid of not being able to commit fully too.)

The list is definitely long, but if I get to accomplish all, I can say that i have not wasted 4 years and that my uni experience was indeed all-rounded! =)

Random thoughts 2:

With new people being added as friends on fb, I feel that somehow, fb has no longer been as "private" as it used to be. And so, I'm kind of reluctant to post much things of fb nowadays.

Virgin attempt at bidding

2011-08-05T00:46:00.003+08:00

Well, Round 1 for window 1's bidding has ended and round 2 is ongoing.. Bidded 2.5CUs worth of courses in round 1 but only managed to get 1.5CU. Missed STATS151 by e$0.01. Should have followed my instinct and put e$13.02. =(

Anyway, this year's bidding really inflated the prices of the courses. Seriously. I just can't believe that I bidded e$14-15 for basic modules and was still near the minimum price for the course group. Others seems to be bidding high prices for their courses too. Which makes me wonder if they are either just looking at the current bids without having the thought of saving up for future bids for senior courses, or that they are just being kaisu.

I'm very desperate to clear STATS151 for 2 reasons. Firstly, STATS151 is a pre-requisite to some courses, clearing it in term 1 would open up my choices for term 2. Secondly, not taking STATS151 will leave me with nothing to bid for, which will mean that i'll just be clearing 4CUs in term 1. Which will most likely mean that i will have to clear more mods in subsequent terms so as to graduate in 4 years. With that said, I'm still unwilling to spend much of my e$ on clearing that. There's still 3 classes for term2, and seriously, i think demand for term 2 will not be that high since only a small portion of econs student plus another group of students taking econs as 2nd degree will be bidding for the course. And so, I've learnt not to take things too seriously. At the very most, I fall behind the main group of people by a small step, but in the process accumulate more e$ to bid for my future finance major courses.

I just can't understand why would people want to bid so highly and spoil market when that would result in a lose lose situation for all freshmen, and the next batch of freshmen too. It's also hard for an individual to place a bid that is acceptable when all the rest have the mentality that "we have to bid higher than last year's minimum bid".

There's still many more rounds of bidding sessions for me to master the art of bidding. I'm still staying optimistic at the moment. Not trying to be too crazy following the crowd in taking the same course and bidding crazily high.

Modules bidding, modules bidding...

2011-07-30T01:26:00.002+08:00

Spent some time today reading through all sorts of documents relating to my university course as well as the bidding processes. At least after some reading and planning, some things no longer appear as confusing as they first seem to be. I've finally got to see what are the courses that i had to take and what are those that will/can be double counted, and thus save me the trouble of taking more modules. Then, there's still the "sequencing" of the modules to be done. Since some modules has got pre-requisites, I gotta much sure that i plan my modules in such a way that the process will be smooth.

And so, after some planning and drawing, here's some math and some thoughts. Assuming that i do not wish to declare/have any majors, i've have to clear 39CUs (39CUs does not mean 39 modules since some mods are only 0.5CU). Assuming that I will just spend my regular term clearing mods, that gives me 5 CUs per sem. Not to bad i guess. Assume I want to declare a major with track for any of the finance major, i'll end up having to clear 42CUs. That will very very likely mean that i will have to spend one summer term clearing some mods, which can be a dull thing to do, considering summer should be a time to do non-academic stuff. Nevertheless, things still seem interesting, certain modules SEEM interesting! But of course, whether it is interesting or whether one can do well in the module is 2 totally different issue.

Took a short peep into the pass BOSS results and find them somewhat abnormal. Prices for different classes for the same subject can differ slightly (which i can understand why). Price differences for a particular class can be very big (which does not make sense to me). Imagine having the highest bidder at 40 odd dollars and the lowest bidder at 10? And yet, 10 is the minimum bid that all bidders have to place. Next, the price gap between the first and second round of bidding can get very high too. Just imagine bidding 70 odd dollars for a module which does not seem so "special". And so, I thought it's never a good thing to be forced to bid in the subsequent rounds.

More planning with my mods and reading of past BOSS results to be done by (hopefully) tomorrow before i go for econs camp on monday.

I've said this on facebook, but i'm still gonna complain about it here again! I failed my AW exemption test and had to take AW in term 2!! I still cant get the disappointment off, but I know there's nothing I can do. I'm seriously worried that AW will affect my GPA and subsequently other issues as well. BUT! I am very determined to do well for AW!

Modules modules modules

2011-07-27T01:16:00.003+08:00

I received the email from SMU CEC regarding my result for the academic writing exemption test. Much to my disappointment, I had to take the module in AY 2011-12. Am i disappointed? Of course, but i guess its quite worrying as well. Reason being, its not easy to do well for the AW module. Its not that i'm particularly concern with wanting to have the "best" grade possible, but rather, i know that there is a certain GPA that I will have to maintain. I seriously hope that I will not do as bad in AW and that my overall GPA will still be above the requirements. I strongly believe that its not a bad idea to be taking academic writing. It's a module that will be beneficial to me. But i think there's a vast difference between wanting to take a module because it'll be useful to you in future, versus having to take the module and worrying if you can score.

I'm staring to worry about how much i'll have to mug through my university life in order to graduate from SMU. Let's do some math. Graduating with one single degree requires minimum 36 CUs, which works out to be 4.5 CUs per sem. Graduating with a double degree in econs and business requires a minimum of 43 CUs, which works out to 5.375 CUs per sem. Even after accounting for exemptions in certain courses, i'll still have to clear 5 CUs per sem. Sounds achievable so far. Now consider taking a major in business, which would mean a minimum increase of another 5 modules. That works out to having to take 6 CUs in some semesters! Now consider taking major with tracks (which requirements more modules)!! How is that going to be possible? Perhaps, I'll have to spend some of my summer studying and clearing modules. I hope that won't be the case though.

I'll be praying hard that the next 4-5 years will go smoothly and that AW will not be a burden to me, but instead be a totally new and great experience! Trying hard to stay optimistic..

-

2011-07-25T02:25:00.002+08:00

Long list of academic talks to attend and more administrative stuff to be settled this week. Hopefully after attending all those academic talks, i will have a better idea of how things work and hopefully get settled down to seriously think through the modules for the next four years, before bidding starts next week.

Still haven found my momentum to continue revising. I'm seriously hooked onto the ipad. And thats not exactly a good thing. Gonna starting forcing myself to do something useful in the next few days..

University stuff

2011-06-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

I think this deserves a separate post for itself.

Firstly, I made 3 wishes during my 21st birthday. One of them came true! =) I received the news days before i flew off to Europe. SMU offered me a scholarship for my undergrad studies. Frankly speaking, the original scholarship doesn't really cover much, but I told myself that I should be glad that at least I do not have to worry for my tuition fees. Looking back at how I've done at the scholarship interview, I thought I was really lucky to be awarded one. And so, before I flew off, I accepted their offer. Then, while in Europe, there was a even better deal to sweeten up the previous one. This time round, its really a very very good scholarship. =) And, I must say, based on my interview, I must indeed be very lucky to be given this scholarship. Really.

I went to check out on the PSEA usage and all. Was glad to know that the PSEA could be used in quite a wide range of university activities and fees. So now, I will say that I'm currently in a very good position even before I start school. At the very least, I know that I do not have to worry about my school fees and most importantly, I will not graduate with debts!

Well, all these depends on whether i could hold on to the scholarship for the 4 years, which I really hope and pray hard I could. With this scholarship, the "stakes" are kinda higher for me now. Reason being, should I fail to meet the requirement to retain the scholarship, I would have failed to meet the requirement to retain my second degree as well. So its really do well or lose both.

I still in quite a mess with all these university stuff. Having no idea what are the course requirements even till this point, not knowing if I am exempted from any modules or have to apply for any exemptions. I really need to go find some means to get all these info that I need.

Realized that most of these issues are not really "communicated" to freshmen. And it really sucks for us to have to know what info we need to know then find our own means to get the info that we need. It sucks to see all the others in other universities who are better informed about school issues while I'm still at a lost. I'm not emo-ing or being sad or complaining, but I just don understand why there wasn't much information given by SMU. Nevertheless, I will try to get whatever info i need. I'm still optimistic! =)

Back from Europe...

2011-06-24T01:03:00.003+08:00

Determined to write a post before i go to bed.

First, I'm back from Europe!! Ok, very outdated "news", but ya, have been back from europe for about a week plus. Looking back, I think the whole trip has been a great experience. It was both a eye-opening experience as well as a learning journey. It was great, we had fun, but it could definitely have been better. Well, if I have the means to do such traveling again, I would definitely wanna have a trip with a longer duration, and travel at a more comfortable pace instead.

I'm still lazy to upload the photos to facebook because i find it really time consuming. Having to filter the photos, then tag and comment and stuff like these.. Lets see when will I ever get done with the uploading..

General Elections 2011

2011-05-08T03:28:00.002+08:00

The past 10 days have been a great eye-opener and a great learning experience for me. Having followed the news during the campaigning period have made me learnt quite a lot and reflect/ponder about several issues that i may not have thought about.

As i was watching the results of this GE on the TV, my sis asked me why am i so interested in politics though I wasn't voting. I told her that its true these campaigning periods that we get to see and hear things on the other side of the whole story. I think growing up, we have been taught (or some would say brainwashed) to believing in the many good things that Singapore has achieved. But we do not get to see the "not so glamourous" side of certain policies. By going to the rallies, listening to the candidates' speeches or even reading their manifesto are really eye-opener for me (and in fact i would say for many others as well).

I would say I'm not anti-PAP. I think they have done well. The first generation of PAP leaders brought us from 3rd world to First World. The present leaders ain't that bad in dealing with certain difficult issues, like the previous economic crisis. I know there are good leaders in the PAP team. Some say, since PAP has done so much and has proven themselves, we should just let them have all parliamentary seats. Others would say that no matter what, we need to have opposition to act as a check and balance on the government. In my view, i think we need oppositions in parliament because i feel that the PAP have been focusing much on the big issues, like economic growth and stuff but has not been doing that well in hearing out what the people really wants, what are their concerns. All these i feel, the opposition will and can do a better job. I must mention that indeed there are PAP members who are concerned with those who have fallen behind and needs help. But, like what most people say, they may be concerned, they may debate this issues in parliament, but when it comes to voting for new amendments or passing new constitution, who will vote against their own party?

-> George Yeo vs Low Thia Khiang

Much have been said about the contest in Aljunied GRC. I too, have my own views on this issue. My stand has always been that George Yeo is a great minister, but the WP team is good too. Low Thia Kiang is good on the ground, Sylvia Lim have proven that she is much more capable than just NCMP.

George Yeo has said that the decision of LTK contesting in Aljunied was against the spirit of democracy and that it has caused emotional dilemma among the voters. But i think, its not LTK's decision to contest in Aljunied GRC that is against the spirit of democracy, but its the GRC system instead. If all candidates were to stand on SMCs, fighting individually, would the voters have faced any dilemma?

When LTK was still standing in Hougang SMC, PAP challenged him to contest in a GRC. When he goes to Aljunied, he says if voters chooses WP, they would lose 2 ministers. But wait, they put ministers in ALL GRCs. How then can LTK contest in a GRC and not causing any minister to lose if he were to have a serious contest and win a GRC??

They say the GRC system were implemented to protect minority rights and interests in Parliament. But everyone knows what exactly are the GRCs for, whether intentionally or not. Consider this. If the government could come up with NMPs and NCMP schemes to cater to the need of the people wanting a alternative voice in parliament, i believe they can always come up with better policies to ensure minority representation in parliament. Furthermore, i do not believe that only MPs of minority races can and will raise concerns of the minority. There's a big difference between protecting the minority interests and the hard truth of wanting to stay in power.

So it brings us to the point that the very reason why we lost a good FA minister is not because we disagree with him or the policies that he came out with, but rather, its a shortcoming of a GRC system. When you lose, you lose the whole team no matter how good an individual may be.

Next, many knows how first-timers for PAP have been sent to GRCs to "ensure" that they get into parliament to get the experience that they need and then fight the next election as incumbents. This has led to some led to some discontent among the voters since some undeserving candidates may have entered parliament through the GRC and perhaps others are still staying in Parliament because of the system.

I have not thought of any good reasons as to why we need to have a GRC system. But today, as i was watching MBT giving his victory speech, I was thinking if he were to stand as individual candidate, he will lose votes because of his appointment as MND. There will certainly be voters who vote against him simply because of the high housing prices. I started asking what mistakes have he made apart from the high cost of housing, which wasn't really he's fault, since it was the main policy deciding how new houses should be priced that caused this whole problem. And this would mean that its very likely that certain ministers get voted out each GE just because they are holding some tough appointments. And thats not necessarily good to have a new minster every 5 years.

-> CPF

This was another issue that i started thinking about after a rally speech by sylvia lim. CPF is a very complication policy which i do not fully understand how it works because i have not been reading on how it functions. But just by some simple thinking, this was what i concluded.

The whole issue was about increasing the limit for CPF to be redrawn by age 55. They are planning to increase it to close to SGD150,000. This means, by age 55, you can withdraw your money in CPF such that it leaves SGD150,000 in the account for retirement. SGD150,000 by age 55. Consider that i start work at age 25, i'll be working for 30 years. Within 30 years, i need to earn such that i contribute more than 150k. Contribution to CPF is 35.5% of your salary. So you know how much you gotta earn.

Not ignoring the very fact that you may have to buy a HDB flat too. Average 4 room flat is about SGD385,000. Consider you and your spouse each pay half of the total fee and contribution to Ordinary Account is about 21%(average), how much more will you have to earn each month? More than SGD3.5k a month?

Some feels that this amount is obtainable. But do consider this. If you/your parents/your children were to fall sick and require money from CPF, then you would be reaching SGD150,000 by 55. This is the hard truth for Singaporeans.

Too tired to continue...

Comment 1: michelle lee lost. =(

Comment 2: SPP did not win any seats. =( (i hope they go for NCMP)

Comment 3: Workers Party won 6 seats! =)

Having the patience to wait...

2011-05-03T20:19:00.002+08:00

One of the most uncomfortable feeling is to wait.. to wait for something that you don't even have an idea if the thing you are waiting for will be arriving any time soon. Not even having an idea if it'll ever arrive.

Its time for Plan C. My last plan.

2nd chance.. Perhaps the final one.

2011-04-19T00:38:00.002+08:00

Feeling so weak and so tired right now. Totally regretted having my dinner at that so-called cafe. Food is inedible, serving is pathetic (which may be a good thing since taste sucks), not value for money and cause me to feel so unwell! I dare say that cafe will never get to earn even a single cent from me ever!

Anyway, was helping ZH with his visa application today. Realised how inflexible or maybe rigid their systems are. First, they do not accept any other methods of payment other than cash. Then they request for the cash to be of the exact value. Its not that the pricing is inconvenient for applicants to pay in exact, but its just something that's so rigid. Luckily and surprising, no payment is required from me. Otherwise i'll have to withdraw money and re-queue in order to apply for the visa. And the queue was so long and with only 2 counters serving. At least things when smoothly there. Gonna go back again tml to collect the passport back.

After that, i went to kino looking for a book that can keep me occupied from lunch till evening and bought this book on investment. Its a book that is written based on and with reference to the local market, which is rather rare, since most books take reference for the US which may have different rules for us. Its very interesting knowing that there are so many different ways to play with stocks related investment products or methods. It seem interesting, but definitely has its own fair share of risks. Furthermore, its not easy to fully understand how each investment means work. I tried, but was stuck on some calculations. Perhaps i have not understood the concept fully yet.

Anyway, all the above isn't really the main point. Here it is. After my "poisonous" dinner, i received a call from someone from SMU, which i guess is a present student. As i was wondering what could be the reason behind the call, 2 things came to my mind - orientation issues and the results from the previous round of scholarship interview. Surprisingly and disappointedly, he said "I heard you have appealed for your scholarship application..." I was like... HUH?!?! Anyway, in short, he was trying to ask me to go for another scholarship interview this wednesday. This time, a "lower-tiered" one.

Reason for me being surprised was because I never expected another round of interview for this scholarship. I've always thought that they will use my previous round of interview to gauge if i deserved any scholarship. And so, I was kinda expecting a "you are granted..." or "you are rejected..." kind of answer. And the reason for me being so disappointed was simply because of the guy who called me. It just left me with a very bad impression - on him and the scholarship. Comparing between this and the previous rounds, the disparity is significant. Makes me wonder if this was a scholarship that offers opportunity for personal development or merely a source of financial aid. It will be very sad if it was the latter.

On second thoughts however, I realised that this may not necessarily be a disappointing news. If i were to see it differently, This is just like a second opportunity for me to secure a scholarship. And I'm pretty sure its gonna be a final chance from SMU, and so, I can't afford to fail this time round. But, again, I guess I would not be overly optimistic or having a serious view on the scholarship. Having been rejected for previous scholarships, I started having a more rational opinion on such matters.

Can say that I'm desperate for a bond-free scholarship, but even if this (which i believe is within reach) fails, I will end up with the very very last option. Its not a bad scholarship, but the application process may be tedious since it will most likely clash with europe trip. Let see how thing goes.

Interesting phrase someone shared with me. Kinda makes sense after spending time thinking through. "Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every conceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whenever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing."

Random thoughts..

2011-04-03T03:50:00.002+08:00

Was reading through someone's blog about going down to the airport to see airplanes.. It brings back past memories and makes me feel like going there just to see planes taking off and landing. =) Sadly, i feel that we had not really spent our time wisely to do things that we truely enjoy.

Europe Planning

2011-03-27T01:39:00.002+08:00

01.53am.. I'm too hungry and too tired to continue searching for hostel for our europe trip. I must say the whole planning process isn't easy. Lots of hurdles that just won't seem to end... and just seem tough to overcome. After spending close to 4 hours reading and searching, i managed to shortlist hostels for 5 out of the 17 nights that we are staying overnight. Not bad i guess. Its just that the whole process is rather tiring. But at least we managed to get something planned out. At least we know that we are close to settling the main issues for the trip - accommodation and train reservations. That is, of cos, after we managed to crack our brains to come up with an itinerary that could bring us to places we wanna go/see/experience in 27 days. Its more or less done and I think its a big achievement.. really. =)

A trip for 5, yet the planning process only involves 2. Sometimes, i do get frustrated that the 2 of us are doing so much for this trip, especially when things don't go smoothly or certain issues just appear from nowhere. I'm not blaming them for no chipping in to plan. Because i feel that its tough to get all 5 of us involved with each planning. And each planning would not be as efficient as it is now. But, I feel that they should at least try and co-operate as much as possible, and do what they can do/have to do on their part. I feel like i'm just tour agent sometimes.

Whats worse is that i haven gotten back my money from all the reservations back from them and there are more reservations to be made. It just irritates me when i feel that they are not pushing hard to pay me back and just simply dragging on. Guess its precisely this point that maybe i feel we are merely "spoon-feeding" all info/planning to them. Its sad that it turns out that way.

Next, we(the group) seem to have varying views on several issues regarding this trip. Alot, alot of differences, which i don't think its appropriate to mention here. I just hope that these differences in expectations are simply due to the fact that we had not shown them the plans yet. Hopefully thats the case. Hopefully...

All the negative issues aside, I'm still glad we made some SIGNIFICANT progress. I can't stand not emphasizing the word significant! Things will have more clarity/can proceed smoothly once we settle those major issues! And i foresee that to be happening soon.. =) And there are still tiny tiny issues to sort out after that.

Someone just transferred money to me!! =) Things aren't that bad after all these complains afterall! LOL.

My expectation of this trip is quite high actually. And i hope it'll end up as how we planned. I'm determined to plan thoroughly for this trip, since its the first time i'm planning an overseas trip to somewhere i never land on before and for such long period of time. I started to question myself if all these trouble is worth it or would it be better to simply follow tours. Haha.. I know i'll not regret all these. Its all about the experiences. From the start of planning to the end of the trip, till we finally touched down safely back to Singapore.

Planning aside, it has been 9 days since i quit my part-time job and i have not settled down to start studying/revising. I really got to get my motivation back.. soon!

Procrastination

2011-03-14T23:07:00.002+08:00

As usual, procrastination sets in...

Sometimes, there's just things up there in my mind that i want to do/needs to be done and yet did not managed to achieve.

Its quite some time since the release of this year's A levels results. There's still many issue that i have not thought about or get it all figured out. I have yet to really sit down and consider if SMU econs will be the course that i really like/enjoy/one which i can cope.

I'm desperately trying to secure a scholarship for myself now. Really regretted dragging everything till after NS. Now, i don even know if there's any out there thats suitable for me. Even if i found one, getting accepted is another major issue. SMU LKCSP is completely over. Not that i'm still hoping to get in, but i'm still praying hard that i will get some form of scholarship that will cover my tuition fees. Any one... Conclusion: desperate and hopeless..

Cherishing the things you have, yet not letting them limit your dreams..

2011-02-21T00:43:00.002+08:00

I kept thinking of the things that wei lin wrote on her blog and what she said makes sense to me. And i can say i understand the way she feels. Sometimes, friends and families are the ones that are truely important to us, are the ones that we truely cherish, yet at some point in life, they are the ones who will crush your dreams, limit your dreams of achieving certain things. They may be doing this with a positive reason, yet it may not be always good. All parents do have worries for their children. But i don't think i would wanna be tied down and limit what i wish to do just because of certain thoughts of others. In life, if you don cherish the opportunities that are presented to you along the way, you may just miss that opportunity for good. And when that opportunity comes and you don take that first step, you shall never step out of that comfort zone.

I guess its all about striking a balance between achieving one's aim and managing our friends' or family's thoughts/worries/expectations. But of cos, i doubt it will stop me from "dreaming big". =)

I wish to travel to many many different places. Who don't? =)

=)

2011-02-14T01:31:00.003+08:00

I think i need to find back the moltivation to get things going on. Felt like i lacked the self discipline to get things done. Its getting alot worse when certain things that are not pretty much within my control ain't turning out fine too.

I haven got started with my self study/revision as what i planned. Have been dragging on with the time. Overseas trips ain't getting anywhere too. No firm plans for europe or vietnam yet. Really gotta start forcing myself to be in the right gear to get things start once and for all.

There's one thing that has been on my mind these few weeks. It has been weeks and i haven gotten any replies, and that, isn't really a good news at all. In fact, the longer it drags, the more worried i am and the less confidence i have, considering the kind of confidence level that i have now in getting a positive reply. I'm not really aiming for the very best, for i know the chances are really slim (perhaps even zero). But i just wished that i can get something that can offer me more than just the bare minimum. And something that will last the full 4 years. Cant really do much now, since i've screwed it up. =(

First Post in 2011

2011-01-09T01:04:00.003+08:00

Alright, it has been a really long time since i last blogged. Its pretty surprising that i din blogged on new years eve too.

Have no particular thing on my mind that i wanna blog about. its just random i guess.

Seems like my life's alittle out of control. There's so many things i wanna do, so many things that needs to be done, but i just don have the time/can't be bothered/cannot bring myself to concentrate on achieving them.

There's afew things thats on my mind that i'm seriously worried about now. there's 2 big day coming up and i have yet to prepare for any of them. i know i cant afford to waste these chances, and i know i want them desperately. I guess i'll just have to present a confident side of myself and i seriously do need alot of luck... loads of it.

i really really need to get myself a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

Apart from that, I wanna travel to more places.. I wanna see more of the world! And thats my new aim in 2011. To travel as much as possible!

I still have not done anything regarding my 21st yet.. Haiz... still stuck in somewhere, wondering what should i do next/do best.

So many things are just happening/gonna happen at the wrong time. Or perhaps, i have not made much wise choices to make them perfect..

Waiting for 0630 to arrive....

2010-10-04T04:48:00.004+08:00

Time now: 0448.

Felt a little tired yet cant fall asleep, or rather, my mind just cant stop thinking of certain things. And so i've decided to find things to keep myself occupied and wait till 6 plus.. and thats when i shall go have my BIG BREAKFAST! Gotta have good breakfast and lunch today before i go for my wisdom tooth extraction in the noon, cos with all wisdom tooth extracted, i doubt eating will be easy.

Was reading around 2% of the foolscap. Its kinda weird cos as i was reading, memories of the past kept resurfacing yet, i don really have any feelings. At the same time, i kept on thinking about some issues and still have a deep feeling over certain things. And it makes me wonder if things still matter.

Am i happy over that? Don really know. So what if that happens? Its does not concern me anyway. So what if its a good thing? It may not necessarily be good for me. Things are so complicated.

One sms, 2 words and a non-working brain is all it takes in the past. Will the same sms, 2 words work in the other way, but with a working brain this time round? =)

time now: 0504.

1.5 hours more for my big breakfast. Why cant time just pass more quickly when i want it to and slows down at other moments in life? It'll be wonderful if it can even be reversed. Am i asking too much? LOL.

FATE, fading.... finally faded

2010-09-29T01:09:00.003+08:00

If there's ever such a thing call fate, then there's only one possibility

- We are just not* fated to be

*Initial word used was "never". Thinking about it, it might not be accurate to use that word, since "never means never ever". You're the one who told me that.

If thats just whatever you wanted it to be, so be it. I'll try my best. If thats not what you ever wanted, all i can say is too late.. its all fate.

Reflections of the past... Prediction of the future..

2010-06-13T01:44:00.003+08:00

In camp now. Having duty tml. Helping zhong hao with his duty since he's having guard2 tml. Doing more duties than usual this month.. That will mean no more duties for the next 2 months, except for guard. Kind of sick of doing duties, simply because there's afew "assholes" trying to get things done, without knowing why some things are happening in the first place.

Next next week will be ATEC II. As much as i would like to give it my all, i kinda lack the energy to push myself through. Perhaps its due to the "conflicts" in camp... or perhaps its just because i'm starting to go into my hibernation mode. No matter what, i know that there isn't much time left and i should really do lots more even when others may feel that there isn't a need to, or that we have "already lost the battle".

I'm not someone who is go "on" about army, neither am those who will fight and die for 46, but what i thought was that i ought to do my best and be thankful for those who helped me out of the difficult times.

Some people ask me if a regreted not being a scout. I think I didn't really regret. though life is busier now as compared to the rest of the scouts, i still feel happy doing the things i'm doing. Sometimes, when i look back, it seems like the things that i am doing are quite meaningless. But i know that no matter what, i ought to complete those tasks. Simply because if i don't someone else will have to. And i know i have to do it, to reduce the burden of that "someone". And its that "someone" who has help me alot (without me knowing initially), to get me to where i am, to give me so much opportunities, till the extend of me having second thoughts about whether i really deserved all these. I would say that i have been well protected, even though i may be very rediculous at times. And its precisely because of all these reasons that made me wanna do much more than i could.

I just cant imagine what life would be like for me if i'm still in scouts. More freedom? Leading a more meaningless life? at least thats what i see from the current scouts.

I hope i've matured through this one year plus. i've learnt quite a few things which will be benifical to me, and i knew there's much more to learn. And one of which is PR skills. Its either my PR skills are bad, or just that their mentality sucks. I'm not the kind of person who will give in easily to others, neither do i talk the person directly on how to improve things. I will just continue life as usual and i hope one day, i will be able to influence you/your attitude/thinking. Ultimately, i knew that i don have to depend on you people for anything, and that there's more people who will give me their support. Just keep a constant check on your fucked up mentality before it goes beyond my limits. till then, it may all be too late.

=) Life's still has its meaning afterall. =)

=l

2010-02-21T00:07:00.002+08:00

Its 0010hrs on a sunday morning, and i'm in camp doing my 2 days of duty. =) (its not allowed btw). In less than 8hrs shall be my home sweet home time. The reason i'm typing all this is just because i'm rather bored... Having spent most of the day sleeping, i doubt i can sleep easily tonight, so has been spending time reading a book. Reading books nowadays makes me sleepy. (not that they dont in the past.) And so, i'm taking a break using inet. Shall continue reading or maybe go sleep after this.

India Trip

In about 6 days time, i shall be flying to India. Its for overseas exercise... but not exactly though, since i'm not part of the combat team. I'd say its gonna be an eye-opener for me. Sometimes, it feels really weird to be in a armour formation but not at all armour trained. Hopefully this trip will expose me to the different elements of armour ops.

6 days more to my flight and i have not pack my stuff, and i'm not exactly sure what to bring over too. lol. Everthing shall turn out fine in the end (i hope).

I'm not exactly looking forward to this trip though. Partly because i do not have any idea what am i supposed to do there. Partly because i'm not going over with those people whom i know better... which would mean i will go for R&R alone. Not exactly alone though... like i say, with people whom i'm not really closed to yet.

Hope everything shall turn out fine in india. And hopefully i'll enjoy the R&R. =(

TP Test

Taken leave on mon and tues, cos tues is my driving TP test. Confident of passing? 50/50 i guess. Quite alot of things depends on luck. Hopefully i will pass, or i'll be in deep shit. lolx. Cant wait to drive around on my own. (but that sounds scary too! lol)

Undergraduate Studies

Have been looking at the possibility of studying overseas these few days. The outcome wasn't that impressive. Guess i would have to put in more effort to do up the research. But with whatever that i've done, i can conclude (or rather have concluded long ago) that an overseas education is extremely expensive and i will not have means to do it. That leaves me with 3 possibilities.
1. Bank loan (not sure if its possible/how its done etc etc)
2. Scholarships (Uncertain of which scholarship suits me)
3. Have undergrad studies in S'pore and then postgrad overseas.

Perhaps no. 3 seems more feasible. However, it wont be the best choice.

Not sure if i should go overseas to study. There's one part of me which encourages me to do so.. to do what i desires to do. But theres the other side which made me have second thoughts. Perhaps its all the uncertainties in my mind right now thats causing all these. or perhaps its just me not willing to leave my comfort zone. How i wish there will be someone who truely understands me to advise me what to do. =)

local degree vs overseas degree => is there a diff?
local edn vs overseas edn => overseas better?

The answer will arrive on a boat which will be straight upon reaching the jetty. (-.-")
But i know that i'm 99% sure that i wont go overseas ultimately because:
1. No means to finance
2. the uni dont accept me
3. its just me...

Disappointments in life...

2010-01-25T22:28:00.002+08:00

It has been a really long long while since i last blogged. Reason being, I dont really intend to do any blogging. But more so because I'm just plain lazy.

The reason why I'm writing this post is simple - Complaint AND more nagging.

I'm starting to feel hopeless and disappointed with my branch. I'm starting to see the worse side of S3 branch. I always thought S3 branch was a nice branch, like what others always said.

Its true, but perhaps only to a certain extent. The bosses and certain (yes, limited to a few only) people in the branch are really nice people, which really helps me settle down in S3 branch. However, as a branch, in terms of how we operate, we are simply fucked up. Really fucked up.

I'm writing all these nonsense here because I'm rather pissed off with somebody in particular and i just feel like blogging everything in my mind and hopefully all these negatives thoughts will be removed from my brain (with limited and precious memory) forever.

Ever since I was young, i always have this aim in life. I always wanted to be successful in life. I want to excel in my career. I want to earn lots of money and be rich. The reason beind why i wanna be rich is simply because I always believe that if I'm rich, I'd be able to provide my child with the best that i could. I will not deny them of any opportunities to learn and grow to be a better person.

However, my one year plus of army life has given me a second thoughts on my "ambition". Simply because through this short period of time, I've have seen a few well to do people with a "fuck up" attitude. The way they do things, their thinking and their mentality really disappoints me at times.

Perhaps i have a weird working style which almost nobody can suit me and work with me. (Which i hope thats not the case). Perhaps, these people just have a nonchalant attitude towards NS. (That cant really be the reason, since I'm not that garung towards NS, yet can be bothered to contribute) Or perhaps, its just simply because they are too spoilt.

Today, I was told to update a file which contains document with lots of chapters and sections. This particular document was printed by X quite some time ago. I looked through the document and realised that some chapters and sections only has odd-numbered pages printed out, which means there are missing pages. In addition, while finding this file, i found a whole stack of updates for year 2009 which was supposed to be filed in as well (obviously it was not done). Btw, the updates I'm tasked to do are for year 2010.

So, i decided to sms X about this issue.

"X, I realised the following things to the file you printed long time ago.
1. There are a few chapters with only the odd numbered pages printed out (eg. chap 4,5 etc). Pls look through the file again and do the neccessary changes.
2. I found a stack to updates to the document in cupboard XXX, pls file them into the file accordingly. (insert, delete/replace)
Try to get them done asap. Hopefully by this fri"

And here's his reply:

"Jian Lin, i have noticed some things regarding your attitude 1, you are a magniloquent oaf (I cant even be bothered what it really means) with no reason to subordinate anyone especially me. (not me then who? Everyone has given up hope on you) You are inferior in graces to me, so know your place. (WTF, does he even know what he's talking about??) 2, lest you forget you are not my superior yet (so i can send the above msg when i'm your superior? Like... soon??) and your antics at changing the dynamics of our branch is troubling (OUR BRANCH?? Glad that you consider yourself as part of THE BRANCH). Please educate yourself in your relationship and command skills (educate? like using iNet everyday to study, or locking yourself in conference room to study SATS, which i'm not even sure when will you be bothered to take and/ or whether you can even pass) . insert/ delete and replace your attitude asap preferably before you alienate yourself."

Cant believe I'm finding this msg funny as i'm typing it out.

It suddenly reminds me of the amazing race at sentosa the other time. We were supposed to meet at Harbour Front MRT at 7.00am. Obiviously, there were ppl late. Someone called X, and he said he will meet us at 7.30am at the main entrance to sentosa. We board the monorail. Someone called X again. He said he will meet us at the starting point at 8am. (all these while still sleeping.) We reach the starting point, but because not everyone in our team is there, we got penalised. We called him, he picked up his phone (he was still sleeping) and ask.... "must i go? Can you guys proceed without me? I don feel like going."

I was damn pissed off with his attitude. And what made it worse... he's actually staying in Sentosa! How fucked up can he be?

Of course, there are alot of other things that happen in the course of the amazing race which i don think i'll blog it down.

Such irresponsible ppl have really affected my mood every now and then. I don really know what to do and how to do, and i cant even be bothered anymore to do anything to these people.

If thats the way they are then let it be, for i know that with that kind of attitude, they cant go far. And (no offence) i really feel sorry for their parents. really.

Cant believe I'm starting (perhaps have already started) given up on S3 branch.

Its fucked up.

From now on, i shall just do whatever I'm tasked to do, whatever i need to do. I shall not do anything for such a fucked up branch.

My NS future

2009-10-18T01:30:00.002+08:00

Its more or less confirmed.

I'm going to S3 branch while Edward and Clarence is going to S2 branch. There's still a possibility of us swopping vocations should one of us fail any security clearance.

If you were to ask me, i would say i'm personally quite happy with this outcome. Just cant imagine going to S2 branch. I'm quite desperate for the spec rank and pay, but i'm not that desperate to the extent of wanting to go S2.

Whether I'll get my spec rank at S3 is not confirm yet. I hope i would. But even then, the earliest i will get my promotion would be next year.

Things are quite complicated still. I just realised that i have not been boarded yet, despite having seen at MO at july. As such, i have not gotten my PES status while Clarence and Edward have gotten theirs.

The 3 of us are wearing CPL rank. But since i have not been boarded, I guess i'm still a SCT in the system, drawing SLIGHTLY higher pay and the risk pay.

I'm not sure if i should rush to get my PES updated. Downgrading my PES would just mean lower pay. But since I'm on my way to my new vocation, i doubt I'll be rushing to get it updated.

Through these few months in NS, I realised the importance of having a good relationship with everyone. It just makes things easier for me. There's definitely a difference how someone will treat you and another guy just because you're closer to them, you helped them more etc etc. I'm glad I made quite a few friends in SP coy and even with the medics.

Sad to say, the 3 of us will be posted to HQ coy next week onwards. That means going to a new yet unknown place and starting all over again. But its alright, for i know whatever friendship/working relationship that i've made shall continue to grow. =)

Hoping everything at the new vocation will turn out fine. I really hope it will.

The rest of the guys have went through 3 weeks of RCC. Regrets? A little actually. I've been regreting as and when i was tod of what the rest are doing. But i know i may regret even if i'm going through RCC now. No matter what, i shall try not to get to emo about whatever decisions i've made in the past, since i know that whatever decisions i've made is the past and is over. =)

On the brighter note, we had some fun last week. Me and Edward did something silly, dangerous and exciting. LOL. There was nights out on wednesday night. Apparently noone told us about it and we only realise about it when we left our room for dinner. We then decided to go out for dinner and movie at JP. Bought a ticket for a 2110 movie and went for dinner. We thought the movie will end before 2330, so that we'll be able to make it back to camp on time. By the way, we are supposed to book back camp by 2230. By 2330, the movie has not ended and we were "forced" to leave the cinema. Reluctantly, we left and took a cab back to camp and merely met the timing. When going up the stairs to our bunk, we saw our PC! Luckily, he was talking on the phone and we just sneak pass him and ran back to our bunk! LOL. Guess nobody would have dare to do whatever we did. LOL.

I just hope whatever privileges we are enjoying now will not end. Hopefully it wont.

2009-10-12T17:18:00.002+08:00

Life's so bored.... LOL. (At least for mine)

I still haven got my new handphone!! Should i get HTC Touch Diamond 2, Omnia II or Omnia HD???

Quite a few stuff happened last week, but i'm not going say much. Cos its about NS anyway. Was and is damn sick of NS. =(

I wanna go play badminton and ping pong!! And perhaps soccer as well?

I realised i gotta start chiong-ing my driving. Could have went for driving today since i'm so free that i spend my off day sleeping -.-

-

2009-10-04T19:20:00.002+08:00

I realised I've to book in soon... and there's alot of things that i have not done/thought through. Seems like i have over enjoyed my weekend.

Should i say yes to be a Int Spec or just be an admin clerk?

Going outfield next week.... alone... when i'm not the one who's supposed to go.

Sadded.

Time to rush to book in.

Gonna suck thumb for 3 days of outfield!!

ARGH!

EMO EMO EMO...

2009-09-25T00:28:00.000+08:00

I don know what the fuck is wrong with me.

Haiz...

-

2009-08-21T00:44:00.002+08:00

I'm currently converting 3 videos into MPEG4 format. 2 are done. Converting the last one. And my computer is lagging like mad now. Wonder if its because of the conversions.

Currently watching TV too. Chelsea vs Sunderland. Its a repeated telecast.

And there's still lots of things that i wish i would be able to do now. But its never possible lahz. too many things that i want to do le. Perhaps its my multi-tasking skills that is the problem. LOL.

Anyway, CCAI course is finally over. I'm officially a CCAI!! lol. Currently enjoying my "block off", but sad to say, its coming to an end soon. Good times doesn't last. lol. think next week would be a tough week. have been told to prepare our fieldpack. Guess next week will be full of fast marches, IPPT, runs, MOI, SBO blah blahblah.

Someone asked me what i'm planning to do after NS and during NS. It kind of makes me really start wondering how I'm gonna make full use of my 2 years. I'm gonna go register for my driving lesson soon. Perhaps tml. I'm still wondering what i'm gonna do for the rest of my NS time. Perhaps go for some studies? I miss studying. (Perhaps my mind isn't working well these few days)

Got very interested with stocks these few days. Guess my friends influenced me. I'm gonna go find out how exactly does the stock market works.

Flipped through my sister's textbook on some finance stuff. Looks very interesting to me. Gonna read it when i got the time. =)

I really wanna be a full time student.

I'm still waiting for my confirmed PES status to be out first before i make any decisions. But then again, i don know exactly how long more i will have to wait. Army needs to be more efficient. Really.

All 3 videos have been converted! =D I'm gonna have my stuff on my iTouch. =)

Went for swensens ice cream buffet with my mum and 2nd sis on wed. Ate ice cream like i've never eaten before. lol. Overall, its not that bad la... not exactly superb though. Photos to be uploaded soon.

Brought my mum to kinokuniya after that. She bought 3 books with the vouchers i had from college day, while i spent my time reading a book on STOCKS! Wahaha. I like kino man. Its damn big with lots of books. Gonna revisit the store soon to read plus perhaps buy some books. =)

I finally understand why some people says time heals... Because it really does. It just depends on how long we need. =)

Random =)

2009-07-27T00:58:00.002+08:00

Time check: 0059hrs.

In roughly 4 hours time, i've to force myself to wake up and prepare to leave for PLC. Gonna revisit the place which has left several wonderful memories. I'm there this time round for CCAI course. Its 3 weeks long and its gonna be physically demanding i guess. And i 100% sure that i'm not ready for it(physically and mentally).

Anyway, the reason why i'm here is because i realised i haven been blogging this week! Lame shit! lolx.

I don really have anything to post though. Just merely typing some nonsense.

Anyway, its so damn surprising that tingju sms-ed to ask for a pre u sem gathering. But they having it this tues, which means there's no way for me to join. =( Its really a long time since i last met those peeps.

I just felt like meeting many different groups of people all of the sudden. It really feels great meeting up with friends. After all that has happened, I really do cherish my friends now. =)

Time check: 0113hrs.

I'm very tired, but i still don feel like sleeping. My body clock is spoilt.

Bike license

2009-07-21T20:54:00.002+08:00

My attempt to get myself the approval to learn civilian bike failed. I knew it would fail. Merely trying my luck, testing if there's really such a thing called miracle. Obviously it doesn't. LOL.

Perhaps I'll learn it secretly?

I just don understand why my parents don have the same thinking as me. Why don't they agree that riding a bike is much much more convenient and "logical"?

My view of "convenient" : Able to get myself to and fro camp easily. Able to obtain a bike license quickly. Its definitely faster than a car license. Furthermore, I've got the riding experience.

My dad's view of "convenient": Being able to get through a traffic jam ASAP.

DOTS DOTS DOTS!

My arguement for learning bike:
1) Its a waste after going through 1 month of bike course and not going for a civilian bike license isn't it?
2) Its the only affordable form of transport (lets just put public transport aside) for me at the current moment.
3) Can bring me to wherever i want. Can bring me to camp and even to uni next time. (A car can do the same, but you cant expect me to drive my dad's car to camp, park there for the whole day/week then drive back again ya?)
4) Even if a get myself a car license i'll just be driving the car for fun. Thats means happy then drive out go play play. My dad needs to use the car quite frequently. The only time I get to use the car is perhaps 2-4pm? and maybe 8-12midnight? (I'll still want a car license, its just that i'd like to take bike first.

My parents arguement:
1) Bike is very dangerous. I don deny it. Its a fact actually. BUT! Everything also has its own danger what. Driving a car will also get you into an accident. There's also news of cars/vans over turned and the drivers passed away ya?

2) Cars now are cheap. So can go learn and drive.
Correction: Cars are cheap-er now. Compared to bikes, they're still expensive. I can buy a 2nd hand bike at less than 2k,but not a car ya?

I want to ride a bike! And i want to own a bike!!! I know its not possible, but i still prefer to remain dreaming! =D

Should i learn to secretly? LOL.

Anyway, was listening to songs in my bunk last week, and came across James Blunt's You're Beautiful. Reminded me of someone. But... the last sentence of the song brings me back to reality. (But its time to face the truth... I will never be with you.)

Like I've said, I don't mind remaining in my dreams. =)

New PES status..

2009-07-21T20:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, I've downgraded my PES status. To be exact, I'll be downgraded to Pes C1L3 in slightly more than a month time.

I've actually written a long long post about this issue and the reasons for the choice, but i just cant seem to express what i really think and feel deep down. The more i write, the more i feel what i wrote sounds weird and the more "confused" i get.

Forget it. Since i've made that choice, there's no point looking back and thinking if its the right choice. I know PES C life isnt for me. I know I'll regret my decision. But this is really not a suitable vocation for me. And there's no other way for me to get out.

Honestly speaking, i prefer a chiong sua life. Its such chiong sua life that we make botak guys bond, and its the same chiong sua life that will make NS memorable. I know i'll not be able to experience sure things as a "office boy". But like what i said, i wasn't really given a choice do I?

All I can do now, is to enjoy and cherish the times I'm gonna spend with my peers.

Humans are really weird creatures. When you are getting yourself dirty, sweating like mad, chiong sua-ing like nobody's business, you wished to be in a office being a clerk. When you finally get what you wanted, you would prefer sweating it out. (change all the "you"s to "I"s)

Chapter next.

2009-07-08T21:43:00.005+08:00

I finally got my bike license. Its back to unit tml morning.

Somehow, it feels sad leaving SAFDC, or rather, having to say goodbye to my bike friends from other units.

And this is my military license. =)

Bikees.. Bersurai!

Turn check bang check left right left... BIKEES!

LOR ASRAMA

2009-07-06T22:32:00.002+08:00

I never expected track riding to be that fun.

Went Lor Asrama today for track riding. Was quite fun. For every 2 mins spent riding the bike, we took 5 mins break and another 15 mins finding durians or plucking rambutans! lolx.

I had a ultra mini fall on my butt while trying to pluck rambutans with my friends. I was the only one among the 3 ppl to fall!! And the worst thing is... we pulled the tree branch... it broke... but no rambutans fell! LOL.

I enjoyed myself thoroughly today! It was really fun.

Mei hao de shi guang zhong shi guo de hen kuai. Bike course is ending soon. I'll miss my bike friends from other units... really. Those are the ppl who can be true friends. (though there are quite a few weirdos there too.)

I hope everything will turn out fine on fri.

Tml shall be the day that will determine if i get to meet her. FATE... lets just leave it to fate. =)

Perhaps... it may not necessary be a curse in disguise the other day. =)

I WANNA GET MYSELF A BIKE LICENSE AND A VERY VERY COOL BIKE!!! <-- A big fat hope. =p No harm dreaming though.

Random crap

2009-07-06T00:03:00.002+08:00

Its amazing... yet totally SCARY... how fast a person really changes.

Its either you've really changed, or that I've not known you deep enough..

A curse in disguise..

2009-07-01T20:54:00.002+08:00

Din get to (wx)(dc)(dc) (yn)(dc)(fv) this morning. But saw (yn)(dc)(fv) this evening while waiting for the bus home.. But it was a CURSE IN DISGUISE man! WTH! LOL.

Perhaps i'm thinking too much. =)

I miss going to school everyday.. lol. (thats an indirect way of saying i don wanna "wear green")

About me.

2009-06-30T21:36:00.002+08:00

Something (or rather quite a few things) have been lingering in my mind. But somehow, i just feel like keeping all these to myself. Its not something serious actually.

I think I've changed. Not sure if thats good though.

Anyway, my house water piped burst. lolx. And I cant go for my shower. Went to do the quiz that laoda did. Here's the results. Some are true, some not really.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. (Hmmm... LOL)You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. (I wonder how true..)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. (Wahahaa... perhaps true? LOL.) The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. (NOT TRUE NOT TRUE!! I don have any admirer now!! =(... LOLX.) But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. (Very True.)

The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success. (Not really lehz... i don even know what i really want.)

How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. (TRUE) Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. (Quite true) Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long. (MOOD SWINGS!! YES, i have it! =p)

How true? Up to you guys to judge bahz. Off to my shower! =)

(k,) (yn)(l.)(;/)(dc) (k,) (sx)(k,)(o.)(o.) (tb)(dc)(gb) (gb)(l.) (wx)(dc)(dc) (hn)(l.)(jm) (gb)(uj)(o.) (uj)(l.)(fv)(yh)(k,)(yh)(tb)!

I doubt anyone can solve this. =)

dilemma..

2009-06-25T21:54:00.002+08:00

41 of us went for the motorbike balancing test.

17 managed to pass.

15 passed circuit route test.

And I'm one of the 15! =)

Went out to the main road today. Just imagine how scary it is to go to the main road in the afternoon when you have just passed circuit in the morning. And we'll be doing night riding tml.

First time on the road as a rider is really an eye opener yet scary experience for me. Riding/Driving on the road is COMPLETELY different from sitting in the car. Some things are just hard to explain by writing. I finally understood why people always say ma lu ru hu kou. I think they should change it to ma lu ru shi zhi da kai kou man! LOL. =)

After today's public road riding, i started thinking about whether i would dare to ride on the road if i have a civilian license now. LOL. It seems quite "stupid" for me to go through 1 month of motorbike course (which they deem is tougher than commercial course) and not go for commercial ones to get myself a civilian license. Even if i wanted to (and i really wanted to), my parents would not allow too.

Then again, here comes problem no. 2. If i have a bike license, then it does not make sense if i dont get myself a bike and start riding.

But then again, riding motorbike is really dangerous and my parents would not allow me to do so. (Dilemma no. 3)

lol. Am I thinking too much?

Anyway, saw something funny, yet sounds very realistic today. it goes like this:

--FRUSTRATIONS--
Say already also don listen
Listen already also don understand
Understand already also don do
Do already also do wrong
Wrong already also don admit
Admit already also don correct
Correct already also not happy
Not happy also don say.

sounds so true... lolx.

That thought kept recurring in my mind. Its not likely to come true though. =) (Not likely =/= impossible) LOL. I'm overly optimistic. =)

2009-06-11T22:22:00.002+08:00

It has been a long long time since i last blogged. The only reason why there wasn't any new post was not because there wasn't anything to post, but rather, things aren't really going to well for me for the past 2 to 3 weeks. And i guess thats the reason for me not having the mood to blog.

I think i was really kinda suay for the past 3 weeks or so. Having to know that i've been posted to Armour as a recce at the end of the block leave wasn't such a good thing. I cant exactly say that training is tough. Neither can i say that it wasn't tough. All i can conclude after the first week there was that i wasn't suitable for that vocation. And thats exactly why i have been emo-ing for the whole of my first week there. And it really feels bad when there's nobody who will/can understand what i am going through. At times i really hope that someone will be there to listen to all my complains, or rather just listen to how i really feel and perhaps give me advice, but then again, its hard for people to really understand how i really feels and its even tougher for me to "open up" completely.

I just hope that things will end up well and everything will end SOON and in the way that i wanted it to be. I'm praying hard...

In case you are wandering why i say training was not exactly tough and not exactly un-tough, this is the reason.

The tough part is having to run a total of 23++km for the first week. This includes a 10km run on thurs, followed by IPPT test on fri morning. (How can someone perform at his optimum after the 10km run? but then again, my 2.4 timing improved by a tiny little bit.) The not so tough part is that we do get enough time for us to rest and wash up etc etc.

But then, i must still say that this vocation isn't suitable for me. And i have no reasons why was i selected (or rather dragged) into this S**T. Well, certain things i shall not reveal here..

How i wish the bike course can last longer. And yes, I'm currently learning how to ride a motocycle in Army. Sounds great? Not exactly though. But at least its something which i enjoy doing and the instructors there are really really good. Or at least they treat me SLIGHTLY better.. Thats what my friends told me. lol. (not true though. The instructors are good to most ppl.)

Sometimes i really wonder why I'm doing certain things/ why do i have to do certain things...

End of BSLC, start of block leave. Time to think of my uni apps..

2009-05-20T00:22:00.003+08:00

Warning! Long post ahead. =)

Its finally over.

Passed out from BSLC last friday. Got my new posting too. 46th SAR as Armour Section Leader. I'm not sure if I should be glad with my posting, but i guess i should. 3/4 of my platoon stayed on for ASLC. Who am I to complain?

Told some people about my posting. Their replies were negative. The camp is really ulu! Really! But guess its not too bad lahz. At least quite a few people got posted there as well (even though for different vocations). At least, booking in and out wont be so lonely. =)

Back to BSLC.. Went through fieldcamp, grandslam, 28km march and most importantly, went through 8 weeks with the 'worst' PWO.

28km march was quite alright, except that I was really very very sleepy halfway through the march. Believe me man... having to walk 28km from 9pm till 5am the next day isn't an easy thing. Its not really tiring, but rather sleepy. I still cant believe that i could route march and sleep at the same time. (neither can my mum! lolx.) Slept for about 20mins halfway through the march and felt more refreshed after that. Quite afew people fell asleep too. And its funny watching them walk and drift! lolx.

BSLC was not as siong as what i heard before. Training was alright. Outfield wasn't that bad either. The numerous "sa-mu-lahs" that we went through was just a form of encouragement for us to know our stuff and execute it better. Having to do fire movement over and over again was indeed tough. But once we got through everything, the amount of rest time given to us just makes all Chiong Sua-ing worth it.

PWO was... I don really know what word to use, but i guess he's ok bah. No matter how he treated us, i know that its for our own good. I just gotta thank him for getting our basics right and teaching us to be a better sect comd. Of cos, i must also thank him for always mistaking me for Sheldon (my bunkmate). I just can't imagine that he could actually call me Sheldon 3 times a day within a short period of just less than 30mins. Do we really look that alike?

Somehow, i felt kinda sad at the last day of BSLC, especially when i knew that most of my section people stayed behind for BSLC. For some reason, i kinda felt sad/disappointed as they do. Life's just not fair.

For some reason, i like my SISPEC sectionmates more than my BMT ones. Somehow, i just bond better with them. And i think they are not as abnormal and they don tend to do things with motives. Although towards the ending part of SISPEC, some of them kinda changed, and i kinda changed my opinion of certain people, i think when i look back at the last 8 weeks, everything is still memorable. =) I'll miss my section-mates. And I really wish them all the best in ASLC.

Halfway through my block leave. I haven achieved anything. Guess i've been wasting way too much time playing with my ipod. lolx.

I just its really time for me to settle down and seriously think through about my university applications. Gotten acceptance from the 3 local Us. Somehow, NUS is outta my preference. its now between NTU business or SMU Econs and Business. Even though I'm more towards accepting SMU, I'm still kinda undecided. Or rather, I still cant make an informed choice.

Some peopl i spoke to encouraged me to go for the double degree at SMU. Thats what I'm thinking of too. Ultimately, have a degree in econs and another in biz will definitely be better than just having a biz degree, because in my impression, i think that with a biz degree, i cant really do much. But then again, having a second degree would mean additional stress. What if I cant cope? And of cos, there's really no point taking a double degree if both are not of first class honours. To think about it, any employer would definitely wanna hire someone with first class honours than someone with 2 pass-able degrees.

Another (dump) reason why i'm rather reluctant to go SMU is because... there's nobody i know thats going there! Nobody's going for Econs as far as i know. Not many people going to SMU. Ng Li is the only one that i knew got accepted by SMU Acc. But then, whether she accept or not is another issue. I really don feel like going to a University with no friends there man. Make friends, make friends and make more friends.. but all these takes time.

But then again, the reason why i'm still considering NTU is because of their hostel. I still have the feeling that staying in a hostel would make a difference to uni life. SMU students say it doesn't really matters. I'm not sure how true it is. Ultimately they would not say something negative about their uni ya?

I've another reason why i feel so strongly about staying in hostel, but i'm just gonna keep it to myself at the moment. Lets see if my opinion is right at the end of my uni life. =)

Anyway.. Here's hows my block leave went...

Saturday

Went for SMU-SOE tea session. The people there is not as "scary/competitive" as what i have always assume them to be. lolx. Someone brought up the issue on class participation and one of the seniors said "... at the end of the day, when you raise up your hand and look at your fingers, you realise that none of them are of the same length. Thats just how unfair life is. Life's unfair. And thats the way it is..." What she said does makes sense. And the reason why i feel strongly about this is because sometimes things ain't really fair. Look at the army posting and it shows something. At last, for once, army has taught me something useful, something to help me overcome everything and anything that may be unfair. That is to suck thumb and suffer in silence.

Sunday

Woke up at 11 plus plus. Open the NBS letter to confirm the timing and venue for NTU Biz tea session. I thought it was at 2pm. It was at 10am instead. =P

The blur me..

Looking back at it. I think i kinda stupid. lolx. Which University would actually hold a tea session on a SUNDAY AFTERNOON?!?! lolx.

After that went for ping pong session. Went CCK CC and realised i kena Fang Fei Ji! lolx. The funny thing was, my mum drove me to CCK CC. Before she left she asked me if I wanted her to wait for me to get down and ensure that my friends are really there before she leave. I said no, which i regreted later. =p

Took cab over. Its all worth it lahz... no complain. =) Nothing bits getting to meet up with my friends again.. really. Its really good to meet up whenever we could.

Oh ya. And something funny happened while on the way back. I was on my way to take bus home when a guy approached me. The first thing i thought was that he's gonna sell me something or want me to do some survey... so i said "no." straight away. lolx.

Then the guy asked for my height, which i also don know why, i answered him. lolx. Then the weird thing occur. He asked me if i'm interested to go into drama.. lolx. I'm like... HUH?!?!

Really cant imagine myself acting man. lolx.

At night went for dinner with my family and relative. Reached home at 1am plus, close to 2. lolx.

Mon

Went for movie with ZH. Initially wanted to go for Sakae after movie but he had to go see doc, so just watch movie nia.

Tue.

Went Borders today. Went down all the way to Wheelock place to spend the Borders gift voucher i received from last year's college day. lolx. And i bought this book..

My mum's reaction: "Wah, buy such a thick book ar." (its about 350 pages)

My Sis reaction: "Why you buy this kinda book? So no life one..." LOL!

Anyway, this is a book was ECONOMICS stuff!! lolx. Somehow, i bought this book without really reading through part of the book. lolx.

No wonder Eugene would say... " I think Econs suits you."

Some random thought appeared in my mind while i'm walking home on monday evening. And i guess you'll be the one who will understand what i mean when i write it this way...

Everytime it rains, I'd put my hand on your head and you would in turn try to put yours on mine. =)

Beautiful memories last. =)

Ipod touch!

2009-05-02T00:42:00.002+08:00

Bought ipod touch last Sunday just before i booked in. More than one month of my pay is gone. =(

I'm still trying to figure out how the downloading of stuff works. But the ipod itself is really cool. =)

2009-04-18T23:07:00.004+08:00

I failed my SOC.

Cant clear low ropes.

For the first time, I failed low ropes.

For the first time, I did not manage to clear all 11 obstacle.

Tried the low ropes thrice. just slipped and fell.

Perhaps my body's too tired. Perhaps...

I know its not a good excuse though. But I've told myself that I'll never run the last 600m without my number tag again. NEVER!

Was damn sad after the low ropes. Practically gave up the whole test after that obstacle.

I'm gonna pass the next test. And clear it under 10min. =)

On the brighter side of things, i'm getter closer with some of my section mates. Got to understand them better, both on the good and bad side. And got to interact (or rather gossip) with them more. =)

SY told me that he has set a target of making his first $100,000 by 23 years old. After hearing that, I kept brainstorming about the things that i can do during my 4 years uni period to earn money. Nothing great comes to my mind. I know giving tuition is one of the choices, but thats not what i really wanna do. Hopefully I can come out with some great ideas by then.

I finally recieved NTU's reply regarding my university application! =) Got accepted into NBS! =)Was so worried for the past few weeks cos i haven recieved any reply from them yet. Now, I just hope that SMU will welcome me to their school. =)

If thats the case, i'll then have to decide where to go. Honestly, I have not made up my mind as to whether i wanna go NBS or SMU economics. The answer will come when its time i hope. =)

I finally brought my comp back to life. Spend 3k plus to buy & fix this comp 3 years ago but didn't really get to use it. So decided that i shall give it more "life". lolx.

Found this video about the fancy drill during one of the national day celebrations back in sec sch. Brings back many wonderful memories. If I'm given a choice, I would definitely wanna go back to the past.

Try to spot me! lolx. I only managed to spot myself at some point throughout the whole video. lolx.

Fancy drill again. Can find me? lolx.

SISPEC and SMU interview

2009-04-12T16:20:00.003+08:00

Alright, here comes my long post.

3 weeks in SISPEC. Going on to the 4th week soon. Can say that I'm still coping well there, though i don really like the environment. Its still too early to conclude if I'm really suitable to be there. Have not gone through their field camp. Don even know if i could go through it alive. Of cause, theres still Ex. Wanderer. Lectures and basic stuff/lessons are gonna end next week. what comes ahead, is more outfield. I know the tempo is gonna get faster and things gonna get tougher, but i'm not mentally prepared though.

Like what most people will do, I shall just lie low and remain unknown. Its rather impossible i know.

SISPEC - Suffer In Silence Plus Extra Confinement. (copied from somewhere)

Got shortlisted for armour scout. Not sure if i should be honoured or feel suay. Got a strong feeling that i may get in. Its really tough for me to put down all my thoughts in words. As much as I want to play a significant role, leading a unique 1 and a half years, I just cant imagine myself going through those trainnings. I know it just gotta do with my mentality.

Theres nobody who will be able to know how I really feel. There's just nobody whom I can share my thoughts with.

My mum is funny though.

I told her that i'll get a bike liscense if I'm really posted as armour scout.

Her immediate reply? Don't learn motor lahz... very dangerous one.

LOL. Do I have a choice? =)

Anyway, back to SISPEC...

I don really like my platoon. They don seem to cooperate. After the incident about the red booklets, I realized that some of my platoon-mates are really selfish. They knew certain info but simply refuses to reveal to you... even when you asked him about it. All he cares is completing his stuff asap. In the end, 2 out of 5 sections get things done wrongly. My section is one of them. And worse still, I'm the LSC then.

My friend told me that if the same thing were to occur in OCS, it'll be totally different. I agreed with him, even though i'm not in OCS.

Went for SMU interview yesterday. I must say I didn't really prepare for it.

I wasn't really that nervous during the interview. Reason being, I was not alone and that I know i have nothing to lose even if i perform badly. Think i did pretty alright. Though did not impress. My self intro sucks! lolx.

Anyway, its a 8 to 2 interview, but my group has 9 interviewees to 2 interviewers. They didn't really have much time to ask us much questions actually. Its basically self intro and one economics question... " What is the problem with/about economics today and how can we use economics to solve this problems.

Its free for all. So a girl started answering. And as expected, she brought out the financial crisis. And said something about what leads to this crisis. The second girl then started to gave some textbook answers too.

Then i answered.

I said the crisis started all because of greed (Thanks to URMK man). lol. Then i said that the reason why Singapore is affected badly is due to the interconnected-ness of the world.

Solutions? Diversify our economy. Depend less on US and more on China, India, Middle East. Depend less on exports, more on sports related events.. Youth olympics, F1 etc etc.

Sounds so crappy. lolx. I don even know if my answer is logical. But I just don wanna give those textbooks answer, but just my views. No point saying those textbooks answers cos the prof knows much more than us. Of cos, I'm taking a risk here.

There's one more guy who (I think) have no knowledge about economics. But he presented his views till very powerful like that.

This is what he said...

"The problem with economics today is that its too complicated. Blah blah blah~~" Of cos he went on to explain.

I guess i'm lucky that my group was ok. Not many people from those elite schools, which i think will try to shoot down your views to support theirs. Half of my group comes from poly. Others from IJC, NYJC and HCJC. Luckily that HCJC guy is from the same company and platoon as me in sispec and he's not those kind of "shooter" or debater.. so not too bad.

For those who have not went for the interviews, here's some tips.
1) Do a impressive intro! Talk about your hobbies etc etc. things which they do not know about you.
2) Be confident. Even when you may not know what you are talking about. The NYJC guy was so stressed up (which i don know why) that he look as though he's gonna break down any moment.

People always say... Don judge a book by its cover. But in an interview, they can't possibly get to know you deep down. So.... just present your cofident self!

Random

2009-04-12T01:50:00.002+08:00

How i wish life can be a game of UNO... There's always the reverse and skip cards that you can play.

It has been a long time since i last updated my blog. Shall post something tml morning. Till then, i shall do what i do best--Sleep!

Random blog..

2009-03-16T16:07:00.002+08:00

Typed a whole chunk of stuff and deleted all away. Reason being i just feel inappropriate to write it here.

"We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand"

Quoted from someone called Randy Pausch.

How should I go able playing my hand?

Haiz..

Starting to get nervous for Friday. I'm just not prepared to recieve that posting though i used to want to get it.

POP ORH!!

2009-03-11T18:48:00.002+08:00

I'm no longer a chao recruit and is a PTE from 10th March!

Yes! I've POP-ed!!

Woke up at 4am to get ready for our 24km graduation route march.

Route march was tiring... Fun... memorable... (and all positive adjectives that fits here).

I don't exactly enjoy my time in BMT, but given a choice, I would still wanna stay in my coy for the remaining of my NS. By I know its time to move on. Time for tougher training, to be a better man. =)

Anyway, looking back at certain activities we had for the 9 weeks. I decided to post something special/interesting about these events.

Live Range
Best invention: SAR 21 Scope. Its just good. =)
Worst invention: none. But if there needs to be something here, i'll say its IA!! (Luckily my "wife" didn't give me this problem during live range.)

Urban Ops
Best invention: Urban Ops is the best invention. Cos its really fun. lolx.
Worst invention: Blanks! Because nothing comes out when you fired but you're left with lots of carbon to clean!

HG throw
Best invention: Ear plugs! =)
Worst invention: nil

Field Camp
Best invention: Toilet bowl!! I'm sure there's no disagreement with this. Combat Ration is another one. Engineering gloves was helpful too.
Worst invention: Digging of shellscrape? lolx. Its tiring, but its "worth the effort" cos we get to have tactical RO after that! Wahaha! SHIOK!

SITest
Best invention: Toggle rope. Its your "ticket" to command school. lolx
Worst invention: Leopard crawl! Stretcher!

Route March
Best invention: Leukoplast! This is really damn good. Prevents your legs from getting blisters. I used it for my route marches and its really useful. Shall post the pic next time.
Worst invention: Muddy pathway? Route march with rain? lolx

(TO BE CONTINUED) I'm going off for dinner! =)

Sing! Sha la la la la~
la la la la la la la ~
I am recruit Jian Lin
I don know what to say.
I am recruit Jian Lin
I don know what to say.
So you better go off my way now,
or I'll call your name!
Sing! Sha la la la la~
la la la la la la la ~

I cant believe this song can last us 4km. =) It was the most fun 4km.

A level results...

2009-03-11T18:10:00.003+08:00

I know this post comes rather too late. But anyway.. here it is...

AAAB.

B for GP.

Good enough?

To others, this may be a good result already. But it isn't for me. Perhaps my expectations are just too high for me. Or am I someone who will not be satisfied with whatever thats given to me? I hope its not the latter. For i know that all i wished for was 4 As and a B for GP was good enough.

On the other hand, I think quite a few people really expected me to perform better.

I don't know exactly how to put it, but i think you guys would understand after reading this.

Friday, i went up the stage to recieve the cert. Richard was saying that he's quite shock that i don't seem happy when i went up. And yes, I'm not exactlt happy about it. But, i don't think i'm sad too.

Anyway, i went up to Mrs Tan and heres what happen. She took a look at my results and said "I thought you could do better."

I was not surprised by what she said. I was calm but obviously, i do not know how else to respond.

I just thought thats just a better way to tell me that you've not met our expectations for you, or worst still, you've done badly.

Like I said, I'm satisfied with a B for GP. For I know I need to put in much much more effort if I'm really desperate for an A.

B for Econs. Disappointed? Not sure.

On first thought, I'm quite (to be honest, its very) disappointed with it. Firstly because its the only subject that I'm very interested and passionate about. Secondly, my econs grades has been rather consistent.

But on second thought, I knew I don't deserve an A if I'm really got it (honestly). It was the only subject that i did not study completely for the A levels. So i'm to blame for the grades i guess.

To think about it, I still think life isn't always fair. (I know i just nagging and nagging.) Theres certain things which i feel strongly about but i just will not say it or blog about it. For it can be rather sensitive. Those who know me well MAY know what i thinking about bahz.

To sum up my grades, its 4As and 3Bs.

I've kind of dropped the idea of applying for those prestigous scholarships. To think about it, theres just so many people out there with 7As. And those are the people that I'm competing with. Even though I may have CIP and some impressive CCA, I'm still not confident.

I think I'm just being realistic.

Went for SMU open house. Pondering whether to apply for school of business or Economics. Yes, the subject that i didnt do well in. =) The speaker for the School of Economics didn't really tell us much about what the course has to offer. All he did was to tell us more about the financial crisis and the budget this year. But I think it was very interesting as he analysed certain things. And most people will not be able to think of such things unless they think deep enough.

No matter what, I knew that a double degree in both will solve my problem. I just worried that i would not be able to cope. My mum's more worried though. =) Anyway, it'll still be my "first choice". I'm just thinking which course to put as my first choice. (I doubt anyone knows what i'm talking about though)

NUS and NTU open house this weekend. Shall go see see.

I'm thinking of taking the SAT reasoning test. Just to "boost" my chance of getting to a good uni and course and hopefully my confidence. But thats only if i can obtain a good score.

Not exactly sure if i wanna take it. For it'll mean that i'll have to mug hard (again). Honestly, I've forgotten much that i've learnt in school.

4 more days to make up my mind. I know it'll be too late in the end.

2009-03-06T10:11:00.002+08:00

I just recieved a call from ms chua from pj telling me to go sch earlier. My first reaction? None. Throughout the phonecall, the only thing on my mind was... Who's miss Chua? lolx. It took a long while for me to realize that its miss kelly chua. lolx.

Somehow, i'm not nervous/excited/etc etc etc about the results. A levels result has not been occupying my mind for the one whole week while i'm in tekong. Even till this morning, i just "numb" about everything. (But my mum is overly excited about my results.)

Perhaps its because of tekong thats the cause of this.

Anyway, I just cant believe that i managed to clear my SOC within the timing. 6.18 min. lolx. I'm happy with that timing though i know i cant go faster.=) No more SOC (for now at least).

GP rehearsal was... ... I dont know how to describe too. But i know that no matter how tired i am, i'll still make sure i'll finish the whole thing. =)

Those days leading to POP was just great. I'm "complaining" about having too much time for stand two. (If you guys understand.lolx.)

4 more days to POP!!

I'm getting more sick. Kept coughing the whole night. I need my well deserved one week or so block leave.

2009-03-01T00:10:00.002+08:00

I'm back from Tekong.. (again)

But then again... its not exactly "again"... if you know what i mean..

Had IPPT on Friday. The last and the actual one. I PASSED IT! And I've got Silver! =)

Must say its a big achievement for me. From fail to silver. From 2 pull ups to 8 pull ups. From 12:16 for 2.4km till 10+++. Its really something that i've never done before. BMT has indeed brought me to achieve certain things that i've not done before or do not think i could do.

Once a zero fighter, never a zero fighter! =)

I'm finally seriously sick while in tekong. Blame myself from being too "tan chi" bah. lol. Had fever on fri. Reached up to 38.2 degree. Today was better le.. but my throat hurts badly. Really very painful.

A levels results releasing soon. As usual, i'm still lost. I'm still not sure when i'll finally find the right path thats suitable for me... Haiz...

Gonna POP real soon. As much as i would go command school, i wished i could remain in my coy for the remaining of my 2 years.

2009-02-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking of quite a few things these few days while in Tekong but I'm just plain lazy to recall everything and write it here.

SITest is over. Guess i did pretty alright. Not very well, not up to my expectations, but i guess its good enough. =)

A levels results are coming out soon. I'm not nervous. Just feeling lost i guess. Not nervous because having straight As no longer mean much to me. I used to be aimming for the best results and to top the cohort. But not now I'm sure. All these are no longer important. Because the "moltivation for me to strive for all these" are gone. And I'll be contended to just have the results that would enable me to get into the course and uni that i want to go to. But i've not thought of what i want exactly yet. And thats why I'm feeling lost and hoping that the results will not be released that early.

I've made up my mind about going to command school and have indicated my choice too. My buddy says that you'll need to have "moltivations" to help you get through the tough trainings in command schools. I agree totally with him. I know what i've got and what i don't. Hope i would regret the steps that i shall take from now on.

I was not chosen for the MP interview. Neither am i chosen for intel. Disappointment is the only thing i can say i guess. Nobody would know how i feel and there's just no one i can turn to to share all my feelings.. just because not everyone understands. I curious to know the criteria for MP selection. I'm curious to find out why i did not meet their requirements. I know all these are no longer important, but i'm just curious.

Gonna POP like real soon. I don't really know if i should be happy about it or what. Some things are just hard to explain.

NS stuff aside, I think i'm starting to enjoy my life more now.. in a different manner from the past. I'm spending my time doing more fulfilling stuff i guess.

Was thinking of buying a MP4. Went looking for it briefly today. Didn't buy yet. And by dinner time, i decided not to buy one. I just don wanna regret spending half or over half of my pay on it. its not exactly worth it actually. I don really need a MP3 or 4 urgently now actually.

I just don know, but i'm confussed. Too many things in my mind. Too many things that has yet to be decided. Too many things to think through. Too many too many stuff.. really. I really need a long LONG break. away from everything and just let my brain rest. Its contradicting actually. I didn't really get to use my brain in NS and yet now i'm sounding as though my brain's stressed up.

As much as i want to,
i know i cant.
Because i just cant get it through..
And i don have the confidence to do so.

Its all about NS

2009-02-08T08:08:00.002+08:00

Time flies.

It has been one month since i've enlisted.

Have not been updating my blog.. Partly because...

1) I do not have the time to do so.
2) Some stuff could not be share/written here.
3) The above are pure excuses. I'm just lazy to update. lolx.

Everything is fine I guess. NS life has a fair share of everything.

The first 2 weeks of confinement week was alright. I thought I achieve certain things which I've not done before. Just had that feeling to wanna "push myself more". =)

Got my Marksman too! =) Was initially going for the coy best shot. But i missed one shot. Was damn emo after i missed that shot. But I concluded something from that.. You'll perform better without "stress". lolx. Cos after that shot, every shot was fine. More of enjoying myself more than trying to shoot well.

Went for SDC visit. Nothing much to say, but i just wanna quote something which one of the "officer" said. (He got this from another famous person too.)

"In times of war, there's no prize for the runners-up."

I agree totally.

Just ended field camp. Came home with blue blacks on my knees. Its just because of one activity and my knees blue black liao. lolx.

Field camp makes me ponder about whether i really wanna go command school or just be men. I've not made up my mind yet. I just need my confidence back. CONFIDENCE! =)

"ANIMAL BEHIND TREE!!!"

WAHAHAHAHAA. You will only know about the joke if you're in my platoon. lol. Ask me about it if you wanna know. Its very embarrassing yet funny.

Roughly 1 month to POP! =)

Off to tekong..

2009-01-07T09:08:00.002+08:00

2 more hours before i'm leaving house for tekong..

To those i care and those who care for me:
Take care of yourself while I'm away! =) Anything you may always sms me. I'll reply to you as soon as i got the time. See you guys 2.5 weeks later!

To my friend who wrote a "love letter" for me (you should know who you are):
The message above is for you too. Apart from that, just wanna say, don be too pessimistic over 2009. You've gotta be more confident of the things which you are capable of doing, having more confident of the things which you think you may not do it. Sometimes, if you don't try, you'll never get to know that you have the ability to overcome certain things. Strive hard to achieve all that you can this year. Mug hard and before you know, 2009 would be over soon. Trust me.. its a tiring year, you've gotta hang on, keep telling yourself you can do it! What you lack is the confidence and the belief in yourself! JIA YOU!! =) Take care!

Alright peeps! cya in 2.5 weeks time. Preben says coy O is packing up. Maybe i'll be his neighbour! lolx. Kinda nervous, emo etc etc. Don worry! I'll miss you all! =)

Not forgetting those who sent me all the well wishes. Thanks.
-Wei shan-Yan ting-Kathy-Ng Li-Preben-Karen-Wing Kiong- Jia Xin-Wei Lun aka Mary-Yan De-Desiree-Eugene-

(Hope i didn't miss out anyone. Thanks to those who wished me well)

And thanks to my perhaps platoon/company mate, Recruit Neo, for everything that you've done!

The 2 days before NS

2009-01-06T17:22:00.006+08:00

MON:

Went out with my parents today. More of accompanying them plus going to buy some stuff for enlistment too.

They drove me to RS to collect my NYAA cert. It has been i long time since i last went back. Most things seem to have changed. Many teachers left. Met Mdm Sarojini though. =)

After collecting my cert, I went straight to NP room.. Something which i always do. I miss NP and I'll always miss NP. =) Saw a few "used to be" juniors outside NP room. THEY CAN RECOGNISE ME!! lolx. They are sec 4 now.. so called Cadet Leaders. Time flies, I'm old.

Saw this at the General office earlier on. Was SHOCKED!

We got GOLD for UOPA 2007. Though its 2007, but I still have that sense of achievement in me. Because back then when i was still in NP, I always hoped that our unit could be a Gold unit. To be amongst those strict units which always get Gold. But I know, our unit would be different. =) For we treat cadets as humans! haha. Not that serious though.

I'm kinda jealous of the batch after us. Having achieve UOPA Gold and having 3 cadets awarded SPF badge just because they allow more cadets to be given this award. I'm sure i (as well as some others) would be able to get that badge (which i had always wanted) if i'm born a year later. I'm jealous and envious!

Saw this at NP notice board. Something very familiar.

Those in NP would know..

I went somewhere later. Wanted to look for something which i always wanted to see. It left me disappointed though.

Certain things shall be kept in my heart (Perhaps forever)

Kept thinking about that issue while walking to CWP.

Perhaps... perhaps if i have not made the decision i made during sec1, I would have "gotten" what i want.

Awards and recognitions are just BONUS. What matters is the process..

I'm lying to myself.

Like it or not, such some "bonus" are important to me.

I know you all wont understand what i'm writing. I could only think of 1 person who may guess it.. =) Its not a "her".

Went JP for dinner. Sort of a "farewell" dinner.

NL, YT, Mel, ZY, JX, Kar, WK and me. 8 of us to New York New York.

This is what i ate. Its spicy lor! Didn't managed to finish. Cos i cant cont eating! lolx

Had dessert later which was funny.

Imagine having realised my Apple Crepe has been WK's Pineapple Crepe only after we have eaten halfway through? lolx.

Saw some baked bean look-a-like raisins. So we playfully called for a waitress to ask.

Me: Excuse me, can I know what is this? (pointing to the raisin)

Waitress: (stunned face... stunned for quite long man! lolx.)

Me: Nvm nvm, its ok.

I din really expect her to come back later on to say..

Waitress: Sir, that is raisins!

Haha. The whole table laughed. But seriously, I'm impressed as much as I'm shocked.

That [(11,7)(0,1)(3,6)(10,9)(6,3)(7,7)] [(3,4)(4,5)(6,12)(5,7)] is cute! lolx.

Hey Lao Dao. Thats a big clue to your free meal ya?

Anyways, i really enjoyed myself yesterday. Thanks to all! It was with you all that I can forget the unhappy stuff!

Did something damn stupid last night which made me look stupid!

I [(1,2)(20,1)(10,10)] myself while [(11,8)(4,4)(1,0)(11,11)(2,7)(7,7)(3,4)]!!

Not exactly [(1,2)(20,1)(10,10)] though.

Was bleeding the whole night. Had to hold a tissue and sleep! Later to pek chek then i just use a masking tape to tape a small tissue to my face and sleep! It looks stupid i know. =p

TODAY:

Went swimming with WK and EUG. Was shocked that mum allowed me to go. Dad was "nagging" though.. actually more of asking me to be careful lahz.

Dad to me: 小心一点。有谁跟你一起游？有旁边就好，不要游在中间..........(it went on and on)

Mum to dad: Haiya. there got "bao an ren yuan" de lahz!

I laugh till siao.. Isn't that jiu shen yuan? lolx.

Was extremely demoralised after i cant complete 50m! To have realised that you cant swim 50m only on the day before your enlistment... the feeling sucks!

After much short distance swimming i managed to swim 50m!! That's my first 50m of 18 years! lolx.

Was breathless after that though.

Sometimes, i dont exactly know if i should be greatful for how much my parents protect me, or "blame" them for "over protecting" me. Its "all for your own good" i guess.

Went to collect my specs. Shall post the pics next time.

TRIED to pack my stuff. I cant find the HP that i'm gonna bring in! WTH!

Something came to my mind while i'm on the bus to swimming this morning...

我曾经因为你而失去了很多。
现在，我因为失去你而得到了许多。

Complain!

2009-01-05T00:56:00.001+08:00

My dad planning for a cruise trip during the weekend before CNY WITHOUT ME!!

ARGH!

SOB SOB!

=(

NEW CODE!

2009-01-04T17:24:00.002+08:00

Haiz. Is my code really that easy to decode?

MEL AND YT!! TRY THIS!

Clue: Fruit

Code: 11,12 1,0 10,10 2,3 13,5 10,3 2,3 6,6 7,8 7,7

Haha. You sure cant decode liao. =) This code kinda stupid though.

3 days and counting down... =)

2009-01-04T01:04:00.001+08:00

"BEEP!"

That marks the unofficial first day of my start to adulthood yesterday.

The familiar yet unfamiliar sound.

ITS EXPENSIVE! lol.

Woke up yesterday at 7.40 plus. Extremely early! Only slept for 2 plus hours.

Partly because i'm too hot and partly because those stupid mosquitoes gave me lots of lovebites!

My sis din kena any. WTH. The stupid "suckers" only drink blood from people who do not cover their legs with blanket. My sis was fully covered!

Had a very special cum wierd craving when i woke up. I WANT TO DRINK COLD CRYSANTHAMUM DRINK! lolx. I walked to kitchen and had my COLD crysanthamum drink before going back to sleep. But failed to.

My first time having a craving for anything. I guess there'll be more cravings next time. lolx.

Mum say... Since you cant sleep, go breakfast with us.

I agreed. Time to spend more time with them. Plus! they'll drive me to RP! I can save on my bus fare! lolx.

Had 2 bowls of porridge. Bloated like siao! lolx. My dad "thinks too highly" of me. Or rather my stomach.

When RP for ping pong and badminton as usual. Usual thing. Nothing much to say.

Went Long John Silver for dinner thereafter. Was asking ZX about certain stuff about him and his gf. Kinda paused and think about things in the past. (I'm not emo.)

Romantic things i did? many. lolx.

I read on "I weekly" that the horoscope that will be the best husband is Aquarius. Kinda "announce" it to my whole family immediately after reading it. Its rather accurate i think. (As in the description that mention! I'm not saying that i'll be the best! ) Quite reflecting of my dad. He's also aquarius.

Went shopping with ZH today. Not exactly shopping. Merely went to CWP to buy some army stuff before going KFC for lunch. Then went library to learn some knots. I finally knew how to tie sheetband. Have forgotten it long ago. I'm too ashame to say that i've forgotten how to tie a knot that helps us win 4th position for the Campcraft Comp.

Thats Sheetbend..

Double Sheetbend..

And this is what i learn today. The S knot. Same function as the fisherman knot, but its nicer and stronger.

When home at 3. Borrowed some army books too. Some tips that they give seems useful. =)

Mum brought me to go make my specs. $100 bucks! Ouch! lolx. Its nice though. Shall post a pic of it when i recieve it on Tues (just in time for army)

Went home and helped mum to mop the floor plus kitchen. Haven't been helping her much since i entered JC. Used to do so in the past though. I told mum she's my Sergeant at home. Always wanna "tekan" me. LOLX.

Mahjong session at night. Just ended. Won $4. LOLX! Its quite an "ok" amount, considering we only played 50 cents and $1. =-)

Thats all bah. Shall wake up early tml.. if i can.

Shall write about the horoscope thing that i read next time when i got the time.

Zhong Hao "made me understand" the difference between my sec sch friends and my JC friends (not everyone though). Its all about TRUST.

Updates on my hols.

2009-01-02T00:29:00.011+08:00

Alright.. so here comes the long long update of dec.. from class chalet till today?? lolx. I realised.. the longer i drag on, th more things i gotta blog about and the more i don feel like updating the past anymore. lolx

21 Dec 2008

Was supposed to meet up with the rest in the morning to buy stuff for our chalet de BBQ. But made up my mind to give it a miss just because i'm pissed off with the msg that was relayed down. Instead decided to go straight to Kallang to meet the rest for the soccer match instead.

The rest of them were still at Pasir Ris waiting for bus when i reach Kallang. Kinda expected that though. Went to ask if i could buy tickets for the rest too. Surprisingly, the person allowed me to buy 15 Student Tickets. (Which i later regretted helping them buy first)

So here it is.. AFF Suzuki Cup Semi Finals between Singapore and Vietnam. =) This is my first time watching a live soccer match of such scale i think.

Singapore lost the game. It was really very sad that Singapore lost man, considering that they play pretty well that day. But a simple counter attack by Vietnam ends the campaign for Singapore. I was still thinking of going for the Finals should Singapore win the match man.

Anyway, Vietnam went on to win the Suzuki Cup. I think the awards given out was crappy man. Vietnam's goal keeper got the MVP award. WTH. Thailand was awarded the Fair play award. Fair play? Like real.

Ok.. enough of the match.

Went back to chalet and went on with night cycling.

I don't know exactly how far we managed to cycle that night. But i just know.. the route is very very long. We cycled from 12.30 till 4 plus near 5 before having breakfast at mac and cycled back to chalet again from 6 (if i'm not wrong) till 9 plus.

Though the whole cycling was tiring, and we met up some problems with some of the bikes, but i must say.. I really enjoyed the ride to the Mac for breakfast. Really. And yes.. its only the trip to Mac and not the return trip.

The trip to Mac was just something which i will rmb forever. Really. I told Eugene that its the only event in these 2 years that was sucessful. Of cos the first class outing to Sentosa was fun too. But at least, for that night, i know that there's at least something that can unite the girls and guys from our class. There's something that both can do together and both would enjoy and both would not quarrel. =)

Its a real pity that noone brought their camera for night cycling.

The return trip was horrible. I shall not elaborate more. All i wanna say is that, I saw through some people de personalities.

22 Dec 2008

2nd day of chalet. Had BBQ at night. I appreciate those who took the initiative to start up the fire (esp WK) and the girls who helped out with the food stuff. For the rest who did not help out much and kept complaining/asking if there's any food to eat, i don really know what to say, but i just wonder why such people exist.

Caught a little of the nonya show before playing truth or dare with the whole class. Was fun too. =)

And of cos.. there were forfeit to the game too.. lolx

After which we played the game which QY introduced. Its some stupid game, but its fun, even though my right leg was red after that.

23 Dec 2008
Din manage to sleep that night. Went out to a near-by coffee shop with Eugene, WW, YT and mel to watch the soccer match between Chelsea and Everton. Only managed to watch the first half, cos we'll too tired.. or sleepy rather. lolx.

Was extremely pissed off in the morning. I've never been so pissed off in front of the class before. I guess everything that happens during the last few days just pile up. Started with night cycling, then that person's attitude during BBQ and morning time and the conversation they had with WK just makes me fed up.

26 Dec 2008

After a whole night of cycling during chalet, i realised my left leg, which was injured initially was full of blue blacks! lolx. My mum says its because of the cycling.

Looks like a rotten leg to me.. lolx.

Anyway, went back to the sin seh again. This time round another person draw blood out. Yes, AGAIN!! And he draw blood out from 3 different parts of my leg!! The blood flowed this time round. Thanks to the vege that my mum has been forcing me to eat. The blood is kinda disgusting actually. Din managed to take any pics though.

27 Dec 2008

Rotting a home today. Was merely playing PSP the whole day. lolx.

Went out for dinner today. Celebrated my grandma's 67th birthday.

29 Dec 2008

The class had dinner. Was meant as a farewell dinner for the guys who are going to NS soon. I decided not to go. I guess i'm tired of the guys in my class. Ok, i know its a sweeping statement. There's some which i hope to avoid and there's some who can truely be real buddies with.

When Mer house to play ping pong. The guys were there playing street soccer with S21. I avoided them. Din even went to say hello. Went straight to play ping pong with YT and JX.

30 Dec 2008

4/6 class gathering at YD house. It was great getting to meet up with the rest. There were those who i have not met for 2 full years. lolx.

Though the cliques still exist and though i did not manage to talk to every single one, but i think having a gathering is still better than none. At least i get to meet up with those who are significant to me.

Initially wanted to meet up earlier at 12 noon for lunch at cwp before going over to YD house at 2pm to help out. Haha. Luckily both WL and ZH can't make it for lunch! Cos i only manage to wake up at 12.45pm. lolx. Went to Admiralty MRT station to meet WL before going over to YD house. Din manage to help him out though. =p

Slack awhile at his home before going to play street soccer. I din play. Din wanna injure my leg again. Just see them play, though i'm tempted to join.

Looking forward to the next gathering.. If theres any..

The "rivals": Man U me, Arsenal WL, England YD. A pity that ZH wasn't wearing any jersey. PS: He's the one wearing the cap in the 2nd pic above.

31 Dec 2008

Badminton and ping pong at RP today with YT and her friends, Asta and friend, JX ,HT,NG and WC.

I guess i'm gonna miss these badmin and ping pong sessions.

Din go for any countdown party this year. Partly because there's noone to go with, partly because i'm not in the mood too. But this year's countdown is definitely a better one for me then the past 2 years, for the past 2 countdown sucks. (if you know what i mean)

Thats all for the updates. Merely 5 days left before i go "overseas". I'm optimistic aren't I?

I have to spend these last few days wisely.. i must.

2 Jan: Badmin and ping pong at rp again

3 Jan: Go shopping with ZH for NS Stuff.

4Jan: Guess i'm going for the "many course" and intensive dinner with my parents. Though i don like Sunday dinners, i guess its the only way i could spend more time with them.

5Jan: Perhaps going for Sakura with my sis and mum. Was thinking of going back RS to take my NYAA cert. Outing with the "rivals" too?

6Jan: Currently empty. Hope to have dinner with my family. =)

7Jan: Sayonara~

Like what Eugene said... Its all planned out after that... =)

New Year 2009!

2009-01-01T23:21:00.002+08:00

Happy New Year!! Ok, i know its kinda retard to post such new year greetings at these hour but i'm just lazy plus no time to do such thing last night (or rather this morning.) =)

Anyway... To all those who I love/care, and to all those who care for/love me...

" I hope that you guys will have a wonderful 2009, a year that will hopefully be much more better than 2008. May all your wishes/hopes/dreams come true this year. Stay cool, stay hip, stay happy, stay health and stay (whatever good words that can fit you) ! "

To a special group of people who have showed me extra concern and extra care during some difficult times..

" 2008 have not been a good year for me. But I thank you people for being there for me, showing me that extra bit of concern, that extra bit of care. All that you all have done, is significant to me. In the coming year ahead (and beyond) i hope we'll stay close as we are and that if you people need any help, I'll be there for you all! =)"

New Year new hopes... I don really know what i really want in 2009. But i know if I'm really gonna think about it and to list it, it'll be alot.

So here i go... I'll just write down things that comes to my mind now.
1) Have an enjoyable BMT in tekong, and hopefully, make it to OCS. "I'll try make it to OCS for "you" k? Even though you din "request" for it. =) [the "you" here isn't someone you are thinking of]
2) Have a clear direction of where to go after army. Especially for things like what course to take, what university to go and stuf like that.
3) Hopefully.. I'll be able to get a scholarship. I really really hope this wish will come true. Simply because i don wanna be a financial burden to my parents and secondly i want a UNIQUE university experience.
4) More time to meet up with my friends. And to be close to friends who were once close to me.
5) I need my confidence back!
6) I hope to be a more knowledgeable, more mature, more sensible me by the end of 2009!
7) OH! Almost forget... I want straight "A"s for my A levels. =) With the exception of PW. =)

Ok bahz... 7 should be more than enough.. =)

2008-12-31T02:20:00.001+08:00

The guys are right..

2(1)6(2)3(1)9(3) 8(1)4(2)2(1)6(1) YOU SUCK! AND YOU'RE JUST A BASTARD!

PS: If you understand who i'm refering to, don ask why i make that comment. If you don understand who the hell that person is, don ask me who i'm refering to too.

Updates coming soon...

2008-12-31T01:22:00.002+08:00

Was planning to update on the chalet and recent happenings... but failed to upload the chalet pics onto my comp.

So, like the title suggests... I shall update soon.. =)

Scholarships and its application are a real headache!

PS: I have not applied for one. Neither have i made up my mind on applying on one. But the thoughts of it makes me feel SIANZ! lolz.

Pig trotters updates!

2008-12-21T14:18:00.003+08:00

My left ankle is finally ok after going for tui na. Its no longer pain though it still looks kinda swollen.

The service there was rather good i must say. Though it hurts lots when that guy "rubs" my swollen ankle, but its effective. =)

Anyway, its really funny that day. I went there and after that guy see my leg, the first thing he say was...

"I gotta draw blood from your swollen ankle before i tui na for you" OUCH!!!

lolx. The idea that came to my mind was that he's gonna use a syringe to draw my blood! But luckily he's method aren't that xi fang hua yet! lolx. What he did was use some needle like stuff to poke many holes on my ankle. Its the same needle as those that are used for blood tests. (Those that they use to poke you finger tips?) After that he used a suction pump to draw the blood out.

I got poked TWICE! Apparently the first time fail.. not much blood flow out. lolx. So.. this is how it looks like after i was poked for the 2nd time.

There are actually a few more "holes" which apparently no blood flowed out.

That guy said my blood too thick. Say i ate too much meat le. Then still say will get stroke easily when i grow old. OMG!

Now my mama forbids me to eat lots of meat! lolx.

I'm no longer a meatarian! lolx. If you know what i meant.

My right leg hurts more than my left ankle now. lolx.

SUAY 2008

2008-12-19T01:00:00.001+08:00

My right foot has just started to recover..

And i sprained my left ankle today while playing soccer with my class..

What a nice way to end 2008.

I'm in a lousy mood.

Enough said.

-

2008-12-17T00:19:00.003+08:00

My leg is swollen! But i'll never let my mum bring me go for tui na!

I know she's worried for my leg, but i just don wish to endure the pain. Even though YT have been telling me that it wont be painful.

I really think my leg looks like pig trotters. lolx

Went for pool in the evening time with YD, ZH, ZM, YS,BH and JER. Initially teamed up with BH and was against YD and ZH. Won 5 straight games. lolx. YD is really off form plus suay today. =)

I really don think my pool skills are as good as what they says. If i were to rate myself, i think i'll score 6 or maybe 7. For a player who does not know how to use "English" and proper positioning of the cue ball, scoring a 7 would be good enough. If I'm as mad as Alan over pool, i'll be as good as he is now. =) I wished i have a pool table a home man.

Went Chong Pang for the famous nasi lemak. Was chatting about that issue with YD while on the way there. And that kinda became the topic over supper. I really appreciate what my friends have done. All those "encouragements" and "support" is more than enough. =)

I've confirmed that my guess was right. Mr L likes nat too. I kind of can see why Mr A was "accepted". No, I'm not emo. =) What's over is over. What's mine will be mine. =)

And... I'm home by 2359 today! =)

Read newspaper today. Bob is the wiiner of survivor gabon series. Ok lahz.. i must say he deserves the US$1 million award. =)I'm kinda sad that i missed the final episode on monday. Hope there's a repeat of it.

I just like watching Survivor, especially the current Gabon one. One game, 18 people with different personalities, different playing style, its indeed a show that worth watching.

Anyway, like i was saying, Bob really does deserves to win. He really impresses me by winning challenges using his knowledge of Physics. (He's a physics prof btw) For a 57 year old to win challenges isn't a easy thing. Not to mention he won the last 4 challenges in a row. And like what my sister says, at least he din lie to win the game. I think he lied twice throughout the whole game. Unlike Kenny, who has been "brainwashing" others into believing his plans. He reminds me of Mr L. =p Its a pity that Sugar did not win the game, given the fact that 1) she has the immunity idol, 2) Practically everyone trust her. However, She's too naive. =(

Ok.. enough of Survivor i think. Otherwise this post would be too boring.

Class chalet is coming up!! I hope to attend both the class chalet and the soccer match between S'pore and Vietnam as a class. But i guess its very impossible. lolx.

I really must start spending my remaining days wisely before MINDef starts "controlling" 5 out of 7 days of my week. =)

- She's not going for the gathering. Is she avoiding me? =)

Cookie!

2008-12-16T00:14:00.003+08:00

OK. I know i just entered one post. But i really wanna post this one. lolx

My sis was baking cookies when i'm home. So i made a special request to her. To make a cookie of a pooh bear's head. And here it is... Very ugly!!! Wahaha! But its cute too. =)

Oh ya.. Special order de cookie got special ingredients. This one has lots and lots of choco chips.

PS: This is the unbaked version of the cookie. =)

Class outing @ Sentosa etc etc.

2008-12-15T23:46:00.003+08:00

Went Sentosa today. As expected, we only managed to reach there just before noon time. Basically, today's outing wasn't very fun. lolx. Perhaps only the last part, playing "monkey" in the water was fun.

Injured my leg while playing soccer. Collided into shaun. Ok i must admit, its my fault. lolx. Its really pain while walking. Must walk for a short distance to warm up the joints first before i can walk properly. lolx. But i know my leg will hurt badly when i wake up tml.

When to the hawker centre at Harbour Front for dinner. Walk round the whole place with YT thinking of what to eat plus chatting on some stuff for 2-3 rounds and ended up not knowing what to eat. Then decided to buy carrot cake, which has a long queue. And when its finally our turn...

ME: 4plates of carrot cake.. "black one"

Auntie: Carrot cake wan liao.

DOTS DOTS.... lolx.

Reached home and realised I recieved the EAGLES award de letter. Seriously, this is the first time that i'm not proud of myself for being awarded the EAGLES award. Neither am i happy or excited over it. I think its because I din really have much ahievements in PJ that I can be proud of bah. I have forgotten when I recieved my first EAGLES award, but i knew i was very glad for my sec sch EAGLES award. The sense of satisfaction is there. I knew all my hardwork was recognised. I really got the "I deserve this award" de feeling.

It would definitely be more significant if I am able to obtain the Merit Bursary. Having studied like hell at times through this 2 years, i really do deserve the Merit Bursary man! Was very sad indeed when i realised my family household level have exceeded whatever the limit is.

Just don understand why they only have Merit Bursary for JCs. And why there's a income cap!! lolx. But suan le lahz.. I would rather trade both awards for a straight As A levels results. =p

I really gotta spend more time with my parents before i go NS. Suddenly feels like there's alot of things awaiting me to settle before the end of 2008. Shall push myself to handle them soon.

~ No more emo stuff from now on.. =)

New updates..

2008-12-15T00:55:00.010+08:00

Ok. It has been quite some time since the last post. Time for me to update on quite a few stuff.

First thing first.. Photos of the pool. =)

Dexter taking a shot! =)

Wing Kiong's "break". You definitely wont wanna see the results of his break. lolx

Thats me! Actually i was just putting up a pose. Cos theres no ball for me to pot from wing kiong's break! =p

Funny video coming up. I bet this video will definitely make you laugh even when you're feeling sad. I've tried, and it works! =)

Anyway, its about WK taking a shot at the 10 ball and ending up potting the white cue ball instead. But.. its a nice shot! =p

Of cos, not forgetting the photos of the dinner. =)

I'm looking forward to the next dinner.. if there's still a chance for a next one.. =)

So thats it for the outing the other day. So now, next issue le.

I thought through the other night. And as i was emo-ing on the bed, the story of the boy picking seashells along the beach came to my mind. (Ok, you may not understand) It sorts of enlightens me, and now i can say, 我已经看开了。=) I read through certain things, and I realize that its PARTLY my fault for all the things that has happened. You know him better than i do... you decide. =)

Saturday went for the HUS scholarship talk at Pan Pacfic Hotel. Was very very very lonely. lolx. Cos there's practically noone that i know of over there. WK went for the morning session. Although i wasn't exactly in the mood to think about scholarship or uni stuff then, i still went, hoping to know more about what they have to offer. =)

After which, i went walking around that area. Went to many places.. even walked to Singapore flyer and the F1 pit stop.. After one day of emo-ing, i must say i really feel much better. =)

I think i really gotta find some day to settle down to think for my uni and scholarship stuff before 2008 ends. Gotta get everything done before i get enlisted. And i definitely would want to visit the Marina Barrage. Ok.. kinda random. lolx

As for today, I woke up rather early. Accompany my sis to woodlands checkpoint to buy her handphone. Luckily we went, otherwise my sis would have been cheated of more than $70. lolx. Long story..

Anyway, the phone was rather good, though its from China. Dual SIM card, 5Mega Pix camera, touch screen and can watch TV!! lolx. All for just $188. Quite worth it, especially when the phone looks rather nice too.

After that when LOT 1 to buy some clothes. Basically went for a shopping spree. Spent slightly over 100 bucks today, but i didn't pay a single cent! Wahaha. Cos its all paid by my 2 sis. So here are the clothes.

This shirt wear liao look like a shi wen guy, though my sis always say i'm not. lolx. Regreted not buying the sweater itself. Perhaps i'll return to buy someday.

Haha. The jacket can't really be seen from this pic, but its really very beng-ish and looks like those motorcyclist de jackets. But i like it very much though. Just realised that what i lack in the above photo is just a helmet. LOLX.

Going Sentosa today. Praying hard that it wont rain tml and that i'll wake up early tml! lolx.

-

2008-12-12T18:04:00.003+08:00

I guess i guessed it wrongly. Or perhaps like what eugene said, "its just short term"??
Answer unknown. Does it matter anyway? Perhaps.

Saw this on TV just now.
"You must learn to forgive and forget.. before its too late."
I guess its too late now...
All thats left for me...
is to forget.

Are you sure "its not that hard"
Are you sure that you've made the "right decision"?

Life goes on...

每一个童话故事都会有一个完美的结局。
我相信我的也不例外。=）

What a day it is.. =)

2008-12-12T02:05:00.002+08:00

If time flies.. then the rate that human "changes" is more scary. Was chatting with Wei Shan last night. Chatted about some primary school mates. Cant believe how others have became. lolx. She told me that Zhi Xiang is now at RP dragonboat!! Big Shock man. That fair chubby guy is in dragonboat. Plus he's gotta girlfriend. Plus, his girlfriend is also from dragonboat. Plus, his girlfriend is older than him. Shocking ya? lolx. Really hope that i'll have the chance to meet up with him some day.

Woke up at 11.45am today. Kinda "chua tio". lolx. Cos supposed to meet them for pool at 12pm. lolx. Rushed down to CCK to take cab (sounds stupid ya?). Anyway, cant believe that i saw Wei Shan at Woodlands MRT platform. Was sitting opposite each other. We both kinda shocked when we saw each other.. think stared at each other for 1 or 2 secs. lolx. tai qiao le bah! lolx

Pool was really fun. Though i think i spent too much on pool plus cab fare today. Played the 3 person pool with dex and WK. Really had fun.

YT, WW and ZX joined later. Played for some time before we went for dinner at Bukit Timah Market and Food Centre. Dinner was extremely fun. REALLY! lolx. I think i never had so much fun over a dinner before. Think we quite AA over at place. Initially wanted everyone to spend 4 bucks each to buy a variety of food to share. but as expected, we went over our budget. lolx. In the end i think each of us spent 7 bucks each. Come to think of it, i think we din really buy alot of food with the money, but the experience is definitly fun.=)

Photos shall be uploaded soon. Have been trying to upload photos from my photo to the comp but din really manage to upload it. Must be i too noob liao... so cant manage to upload it. Also because there's too many photos in my photo le... which makes it real laggy when uploading. Shall update again. =)

我知道我还是放不下。
难道你真的完全放下了吗？
I'm not disappointed with you having a new bf.
I'm just disappointed because 你没有找到一个比我更疼你的人。
No matter what you think of me, i'm just going to say..
我的目的只有一个：我希望你不会受到任何的伤害。
I'll still say the same thing..
If you need my help, i'll always be there for you.

[kinda weird to write in Eng and Chi, but like you always say... ITS COOL!]

I'm just too bored!

2008-12-10T01:49:00.004+08:00

I'm bored.

Have been trying to sleep for the past 2 hours but just cant fall asleep. Can't imagine i just rolled on the bed to and fro for 2 hour.

Nothing much to blog about today. Mainly because i woke up at close to 5pm. WK called at around 12 asking whether wanna go K Box. Felt like going, but i just can't bring myself to sacrifice my sleep. The rest of the day was basically spent watching tv and slacking.

Not sure if they're still playing soccer tml. If not, it'll be another day of rotting for me then.

Wondering if his "surprise" was successful. Msg him but no reply from him. Though I would very much like to wish him all the best in his attempt, I sometimes do have second thoughts. Lets just leave it to fate. =)

To nat...

2008-12-08T23:15:00.002+08:00

Hey girl,

I really hope that you've found the "right one".
The one who will love you lots.
The one who will care for you no matter what.
The one who is "better than me"

All the best.

Rmb... If you need help, just give me a call and i'll be there for you.

=)

去把蝴蝶，
去寻找另一朵更适合你的花。
现在这一朵花不适合你。

Cyclical emotional changes. Haiz...

2008-12-07T02:23:00.002+08:00

I realised.. i'm just too naive.
Too naive to believe what you've said.

I knew all along that you dont wanna come for the party.
But never did i xpect you to fake that excuse.
This is, i think, the first time that you lied to me.

I'm not at all angry with you.
I just gotta blame myself for being too naive.
Really.

Disappointed? Yes.
Sad? Yes.
Enough said i guess.

为何你每一年的十二月都要这样的对我呢？

224 days..

2008-12-06T03:20:00.007+08:00

I've finally cleared 80% of my stuff in room and living room. Gonna continue tml.

Anyway, was tidying my photo albums and some secondary school stuff and it definitely brings back alot of memories. I miss NP! I was flipping through the NP magazine and many NP events came to my mind-- Campcraft comp, fancy drills, CCA open house, footdrill comp, NCO camp etc etc. I really miss those days. =) I'm definitely gonna find some day to read the NP mag once more.. lolx. Anyway, I've been trying to look for the fancy drill video during National Day (which i cant remember which year). Nonetheless, i'll upload it here if i manage to find it.

Saw the plastic bag of things which nat asked my mum to passed to me... which my mum did'nt inform me about it. Nothing much inside. Just some examination pad plus pooh pooh specs. But it defintely means alot to me (and perhaps for her too). I shall not say what the foolscap pad is about. I have not read through the things inside, but i knew i definitely would cry as i read through those stuff that you have written.

I've cleared some of the things that used to be significant to me. Partly because some of the things cant be kept forever (will rot/turn mouldy) and also because I don't wish to keep too much things that would remind me of our past.

Things that are thrown away:

Things that are kept:

Soccer match tml is postponed. But we're still playing within our class. Feel like pang-ing the rest. haha. Will see how again tml bahz..

If its fate that brought us together,

let fate reunite us.

If we're fated to be together,

I promise you'll see a different me.

I promise I'll accept you for who you are.

I promise I'll change.. for your sake. =)

I really hope to be able to call you 3(1)2(1)7(3) again.

I just need a break.

I just need time to be more mature.

I hope you'll see a better 3(1)3(2)2(1)7(3) in 2 years time.

Too many thoughts,

too many things to say,

but i just dont know how to.

I'm sorry.

New Blog..

2008-12-05T03:06:00.002+08:00

Alright.. so here's my new blog.

Realized blogger has improved alot since the last time i ever blogged (which was like 2 years plus plus). At least there are more features available now.

Anyway, this blog is still not done yet.. but i will get it done asap..