Disappointments in life...

It has been a really long long while since i last blogged. Reason being, I dont really intend to do any blogging. But more so because I'm just plain lazy.

The reason why I'm writing this post is simple - Complaint AND more nagging.

I'm starting to feel hopeless and disappointed with my branch. I'm starting to see the worse side of S3 branch. I always thought S3 branch was a nice branch, like what others always said.

Its true, but perhaps only to a certain extent. The bosses and certain (yes, limited to a few only) people in the branch are really nice people, which really helps me settle down in S3 branch. However, as a branch, in terms of how we operate, we are simply fucked up. Really fucked up.

I'm writing all these nonsense here because I'm rather pissed off with somebody in particular and i just feel like blogging everything in my mind and hopefully all these negatives thoughts will be removed from my brain (with limited and precious memory) forever.

Ever since I was young, i always have this aim in life. I always wanted to be successful in life. I want to excel in my career. I want to earn lots of money and be rich. The reason beind why i wanna be rich is simply because I always believe that if I'm rich, I'd be able to provide my child with the best that i could. I will not deny them of any opportunities to learn and grow to be a better person.

However, my one year plus of army life has given me a second thoughts on my "ambition". Simply because through this short period of time, I've have seen a few well to do people with a "fuck up" attitude. The way they do things, their thinking and their mentality really disappoints me at times.

Perhaps i have a weird working style which almost nobody can suit me and work with me. (Which i hope thats not the case). Perhaps, these people just have a nonchalant attitude towards NS. (That cant really be the reason, since I'm not that garung towards NS, yet can be bothered to contribute) Or perhaps, its just simply because they are too spoilt.

Today, I was told to update a file which contains document with lots of chapters and sections. This particular document was printed by X quite some time ago. I looked through the document and realised that some chapters and sections only has odd-numbered pages printed out, which means there are missing pages. In addition, while finding this file, i found a whole stack of updates for year 2009 which was supposed to be filed in as well (obviously it was not done). Btw, the updates I'm tasked to do are for year 2010.

So, i decided to sms X about this issue.

"X, I realised the following things to the file you printed long time ago.
1. There are a few chapters with only the odd numbered pages printed out (eg. chap 4,5 etc). Pls look through the file again and do the neccessary changes.
2. I found a stack to updates to the document in cupboard XXX, pls file them into the file accordingly. (insert, delete/replace)
Try to get them done asap. Hopefully by this fri"


And here's his reply:

"Jian Lin, i have noticed some things regarding your attitude 1, you are a magniloquent oaf (I cant even be bothered what it really means) with no reason to subordinate anyone especially me. (not me then who? Everyone has given up hope on you) You are inferior in graces to me, so know your place. (WTF, does he even know what he's talking about??) 2, lest you forget you are not my superior yet (so i can send the above msg when i'm your superior? Like... soon??) and your antics at changing the dynamics of our branch is troubling (OUR BRANCH?? Glad that you consider yourself as part of THE BRANCH). Please educate yourself in your relationship and command skills (educate? like using iNet everyday to study, or locking yourself in conference room to study SATS, which i'm not even sure when will you be bothered to take and/ or whether you can even pass) . insert/ delete and replace your attitude asap preferably before you alienate yourself."

Cant believe I'm finding this msg funny as i'm typing it out.

It suddenly reminds me of the amazing race at sentosa the other time. We were supposed to meet at Harbour Front MRT at 7.00am. Obiviously, there were ppl late. Someone called X, and he said he will meet us at 7.30am at the main entrance to sentosa. We board the monorail. Someone called X again. He said he will meet us at the starting point at 8am. (all these while still sleeping.) We reach the starting point, but because not everyone in our team is there, we got penalised. We called him, he picked up his phone (he was still sleeping) and ask.... "must i go? Can you guys proceed without me? I don feel like going."

I was damn pissed off with his attitude. And what made it worse... he's actually staying in Sentosa! How fucked up can he be?

Of course, there are alot of other things that happen in the course of the amazing race which i don think i'll blog it down.


Such irresponsible ppl have really affected my mood every now and then. I don really know what to do and how to do, and i cant even be bothered anymore to do anything to these people.

If thats the way they are then let it be, for i know that with that kind of attitude, they cant go far. And (no offence) i really feel sorry for their parents. really.


Cant believe I'm starting (perhaps have already started) given up on S3 branch.

Its fucked up.

From now on, i shall just do whatever I'm tasked to do, whatever i need to do. I shall not do anything for such a fucked up branch.