Reflections of the past... Prediction of the future..

In camp now. Having duty tml. Helping zhong hao with his duty since he's having guard2 tml. Doing more duties than usual this month.. That will mean no more duties for the next 2 months, except for guard. Kind of sick of doing duties, simply because there's afew "assholes" trying to get things done, without knowing why some things are happening in the first place.

Next next week will be ATEC II. As much as i would like to give it my all, i kinda lack the energy to push myself through. Perhaps its due to the "conflicts" in camp... or perhaps its just because i'm starting to go into my hibernation mode. No matter what, i know that there isn't much time left and i should really do lots more even when others may feel that there isn't a need to, or that we have "already lost the battle".

I'm not someone who is go "on" about army, neither am those who will fight and die for 46, but what i thought was that i ought to do my best and be thankful for those who helped me out of the difficult times.

Some people ask me if a regreted not being a scout. I think I didn't really regret. though life is busier now as compared to the rest of the scouts, i still feel happy doing the things i'm doing. Sometimes, when i look back, it seems like the things that i am doing are quite meaningless. But i know that no matter what, i ought to complete those tasks. Simply because if i don't someone else will have to. And i know i have to do it, to reduce the burden of that "someone". And its that "someone" who has help me alot (without me knowing initially), to get me to where i am, to give me so much opportunities, till the extend of me having second thoughts about whether i really deserved all these. I would say that i have been well protected, even though i may be very rediculous at times. And its precisely because of all these reasons that made me wanna do much more than i could.

I just cant imagine what life would be like for me if i'm still in scouts. More freedom? Leading a more meaningless life? at least thats what i see from the current scouts.

I hope i've matured through this one year plus. i've learnt quite a few things which will be benifical to me, and i knew there's much more to learn. And one of which is PR skills. Its either my PR skills are bad, or just that their mentality sucks. I'm not the kind of person who will give in easily to others, neither do i talk the person directly on how to improve things. I will just continue life as usual and i hope one day, i will be able to influence you/your attitude/thinking. Ultimately, i knew that i don have to depend on you people for anything, and that there's more people who will give me their support. Just keep a constant check on your fucked up mentality before it goes beyond my limits. till then, it may all be too late.

=) Life's still has its meaning afterall. =)