School work is barely manageable i would say. Not that I'm currently dying from the workload. Seriously, its OKAY. I just need more discipline to get things done. Projects are definitely piling up, and I really need to get them done before its done for submission. Cant imagine trying to rush out reports at the very last minute considering that almost all projects are due on the same week. Not mentioning the need to study for final paper too.
Mid terms had just ended yesterday, with Stats being the last paper. Not really confident, yet not worried about the results just yet. I just all the studying has made me realized that perhaps there are more meaningful things in life to worry about and to strive for. It kind of stressful to study in a environment where everyone tries to put in twice the effort and time to study compared to others and aims to get full marks for every exam. I mean.. since when did anyone strive to obtain FULL MARKS for all papers?
The mid terms was a good feedback on my studying method. Realized i could have improved on the way I study and revise. I wish I could do it regularly instead of pushing everything to the few weeks before the paper.
After much procrastination, I finally went to apply for my NYAA Gold booklet. I hope to force myself to be involved in other activities other than studies. And honestly, its not really easy to achieve something great outside of your studies in SMU, simply because everyone is so tied up with academic stuff and the lack of opportunities in school. And so, I hope i'll be motivated enough to find more interesting things to do throughout the next 4 years. One is of cause the Nepal OCSP trip this coming December. And another, is to volunteer for something thats on a longer term. I have something in mind, but has yet to sign up. I think i will do so next year. Its definitely something on my radar now.
Next upcoming event shall be my OCSP trip to Nepal this coming December. I find this whole CSP idea unique and interesting and thats why I signed up, despite the one major factor that made me think through over and over again. But things aren't looking too good now. Kind of worry for the success of this OCSP trip. I hope things will turn out fine. Again, I really need to do more things to contribute to the team. Too lazy to mention all the thoughts and feelings here, but things are over and i'm still gonna go for this trip and make the best out of it.
I'm also starting to get bored with my CCA. Somehow, it wasn't really what i have expected it to be. And so, I think i will be looking at joining some other CCAs next year. But meanwhile, I'm hoping to join some other events committee, something which will give me a sense of achievement/satisfaction. Think the interview sessions and application windows for most events are closed. But i'm still trying to see if i can be involved in some Bizcom committee. I'm considering joining the committee to plan for a CSP for the CSD people. Think it'll be something we will give me the scope to learn alot of new things.
Have been wondering over the past few weeks regarding the purpose of having an undergrad education. 4 years of education, 4 years of rushing to get work done, 4 years of intense mugging... what's our purpose? What is my purpose? What do I hope to achieve at the end of 4 years? Are all the efforts worth it? And precisely because of all these random thoughts that I start to see things differently, and to place lesser emphasis/importance on grades. So what if I get a 4.0 GPA? Will I be happy if at the end of 4 years, all I get is good grades and nothing else? Not even memories of what i did, what I managed to accomplish and so on. Sometimes, after much thoughts, i start to ask myself if I'm in the position to complain about school life. Ultimately, I'm being paid to study well in school. What else do I have to complain about? Should I even be complaining ?
