Uni Life

It has been 2 months since i last posted here. Time passes quickly without one realizing. School is hectic. Maybe its the lack of time to do everything we wanna do, but i guess its just the lack of motivation in myself to get things done.

School work is barely manageable i would say. Not that I'm currently dying from the workload. Seriously, its OKAY. I just need more discipline to get things done. Projects are definitely piling up, and I really need to get them done before its done for submission. Cant imagine trying to rush out reports at the very last minute considering that almost all projects are due on the same week. Not mentioning the need to study for final paper too.

Mid terms had just ended yesterday, with Stats being the last paper. Not really confident, yet not worried about the results just yet. I just all the studying has made me realized that perhaps there are more meaningful things in life to worry about and to strive for. It kind of stressful to study in a environment where everyone tries to put in twice the effort and time to study compared to others and aims to get full marks for every exam. I mean.. since when did anyone strive to obtain FULL MARKS for all papers?

The mid terms was a good feedback on my studying method. Realized i could have improved on the way I study and revise. I wish I could do it regularly instead of pushing everything to the few weeks before the paper.

After much procrastination, I finally went to apply for my NYAA Gold booklet. I hope to force myself to be involved in other activities other than studies. And honestly, its not really easy to achieve something great outside of your studies in SMU, simply because everyone is so tied up with academic stuff and the lack of opportunities in school. And so, I hope i'll be motivated enough to find more interesting things to do throughout the next 4 years. One is of cause the Nepal OCSP trip this coming December. And another, is to volunteer for something thats on a longer term. I have something in mind, but has yet to sign up. I think i will do so next year. Its definitely something on my radar now.

Next upcoming event shall be my OCSP trip to Nepal this coming December. I find this whole CSP idea unique and interesting and thats why I signed up, despite the one major factor that made me think through over and over again. But things aren't looking too good now. Kind of worry for the success of this OCSP trip. I hope things will turn out fine. Again, I really need to do more things to contribute to the team. Too lazy to mention all the thoughts and feelings here, but things are over and i'm still gonna go for this trip and make the best out of it.

I'm also starting to get bored with my CCA. Somehow, it wasn't really what i have expected it to be. And so, I think i will be looking at joining some other CCAs next year. But meanwhile, I'm hoping to join some other events committee, something which will give me a sense of achievement/satisfaction. Think the interview sessions and application windows for most events are closed. But i'm still trying to see if i can be involved in some Bizcom committee. I'm considering joining the committee to plan for a CSP for the CSD people. Think it'll be something we will give me the scope to learn alot of new things.

Have been wondering over the past few weeks regarding the purpose of having an undergrad education. 4 years of education, 4 years of rushing to get work done, 4 years of intense mugging... what's our purpose? What is my purpose? What do I hope to achieve at the end of 4 years? Are all the efforts worth it? And precisely because of all these random thoughts that I start to see things differently, and to place lesser emphasis/importance on grades. So what if I get a 4.0 GPA? Will I be happy if at the end of 4 years, all I get is good grades and nothing else? Not even memories of what i did, what I managed to accomplish and so on. Sometimes, after much thoughts, i start to ask myself if I'm in the position to complain about school life. Ultimately, I'm being paid to study well in school. What else do I have to complain about? Should I even be complaining ?

LTB Meeting

Alright, just had our group's first online meeting via skype. Total waste of time, not efficient at all.

First, its always hard to conduct an efficient online meeting without much discipline within the group. What i mean is, its difficult to control when and what people wanna say something, and thus, we ended up talking about several topics (plus a few random topics) at the same time, or that there will be people talking about 2 separate ideas together.

Next, the issue of wanting to make decision together as a group and yet not being able to have a complete group meeting. They see making decision as a group as wanting everybody's vote when considering simple things such as team name. Of cos, team name can be important. Of cos, getting everyone's views and votes is important, but how can be possibly do that when we never had a complete meeting with everyone present for the whole duration of the meeting? Then we'll just end up postpone-ing all decision-making to subsequent meetings. And sad to say, these decisions will never be made since we don't have the commitment of everybody. Seriously, after writing the previous post and realizing the different commitments that you guys might have, I felt bad feeling that way or having certain thoughts, but once again, I still feel that the commitment level isn't there.

Next, it's so hard to work in a group when they are people who are so insistent on their ideas. Seriously, its ok if the idea is good, but it's not if the idea does not has a strong backing. It gives me the feeling that you saying every thought you have without thinking through if they are relevant. And thereafter try to defend your ideas. Worse, you feel that we are shooting your ideas down when we may not be.

And lastly, I can stand people rushing through work to produce some low quality work to submit. Why rush through a sponsorship proposal when you (should) know that we only have ONE chance to seek sponsorship from each company, and that if we fail to get anything with the first letter, thats it.

I keep having the feeling that we just keep having the "ideal thought" that we can get at least 1 sponsor, which i honestly feel is quite difficult. And frankly speaking, having this feeling during/after every meeting can be scary..

First Project Group Meeting

I dont understand my group. Seriously.

First, you dont read through the requirements/guildlines beforehand even when you have been told to do so. Next, you don brainstorm for ideas before meetings. Then you start thinking of all these wonderful ideas without considering the limitations that we have.

Worse of all, you guys keep having the impression that seeking sponsorship is something that comes easily. Hey! Please wake up from your dreams!

Week 1 of school...

Its 3.26am now, on a sunday night, or rather monday morning, and i should be sleeping. Yet, I decided that no matter what, i should get this post up before going to bed. And so, here i am, trying to write down my thoughts and experiences for the past one week plus.

BOSS bidding session:

How and where do i start? Its not something I look forward to, neither is it something which i hate. I think perhaps its just that I haven gotten the tricks with bidding. Nevertheless, after one big round of "drama", I've finally gotta the ideal 4.5CUs for this sem, without having to take a particular mod with a slightly demanding prof. Really glad that things turned out well for me in the second window. I've got a friend who is still bidding for her mods when it has been 1 week into school. Thats one of the few faults that i find in the whole bidding system. Apart from that, i think bidding is all about beating the system and working smart to get your mods, yet remain "wealthy".

School:

My experience with school thus far has been good. Have been busy searching for textbooks (which i ended up buying first-hand), going for meet-ups for camp friends, attending lessons and making new friends in class out of just a simple conversation. I cant say that there will not be any changes to my current views, but i think i like the way SMU "forces" students to volunteer to step out of their comfort zone and talk to others and make friends. Somehow, i like the way it works.

School work hasn't been too demanding to be honest, but i kept having the feeling that there wasn't enough time to complete whatever that has to be done for class, on top of having a "life/lifestyle" and handling CCAs. Adjustments take time perhaps.

Random thoughts:

I've always view entering uni as a totally new chapter in life, and its a time when you take bold steps to achieve whatever you set out to achieve. There are so many things that I hope to achieve by the end of the 4 years. Its really a time for one to do as much things as possible within these 4 years, because once you enter workforce, you'll seldom get the time and/or freedom to do certain crazy stuff. And so far, there are certain things which I've set out to do.

1. Obtain my double degree in 4 years.

2. Go for OCSP

3. Be part of the organising committee for a OCSP

4. Overseas exchange

5. Overseas internship (Haven really considered the possibility)

6. NYAA Gold (something which i thought of today, which i thought would be one of the great ways to sum up my uni non-academic experiences.

7. Committing myself to a long-term CIP. (Have an idea in mind, but have yet to take any actions. Afraid of not being able to commit fully too.)

The list is definitely long, but if I get to accomplish all, I can say that i have not wasted 4 years and that my uni experience was indeed all-rounded! =)

Random thoughts 2:

With new people being added as friends on fb, I feel that somehow, fb has no longer been as "private" as it used to be. And so, I'm kind of reluctant to post much things of fb nowadays.

Virgin attempt at bidding

Well, Round 1 for window 1's bidding has ended and round 2 is ongoing.. Bidded 2.5CUs worth of courses in round 1 but only managed to get 1.5CU. Missed STATS151 by e$0.01. Should have followed my instinct and put e$13.02. =(

Anyway, this year's bidding really inflated the prices of the courses. Seriously. I just can't believe that I bidded e$14-15 for basic modules and was still near the minimum price for the course group. Others seems to be bidding high prices for their courses too. Which makes me wonder if they are either just looking at the current bids without having the thought of saving up for future bids for senior courses, or that they are just being kaisu.

I'm very desperate to clear STATS151 for 2 reasons. Firstly, STATS151 is a pre-requisite to some courses, clearing it in term 1 would open up my choices for term 2. Secondly, not taking STATS151 will leave me with nothing to bid for, which will mean that i'll just be clearing 4CUs in term 1. Which will most likely mean that i will have to clear more mods in subsequent terms so as to graduate in 4 years. With that said, I'm still unwilling to spend much of my e$ on clearing that. There's still 3 classes for term2, and seriously, i think demand for term 2 will not be that high since only a small portion of econs student plus another group of students taking econs as 2nd degree will be bidding for the course. And so, I've learnt not to take things too seriously. At the very most, I fall behind the main group of people by a small step, but in the process accumulate more e$ to bid for my future finance major courses.

I just can't understand why would people want to bid so highly and spoil market when that would result in a lose lose situation for all freshmen, and the next batch of freshmen too. It's also hard for an individual to place a bid that is acceptable when all the rest have the mentality that "we have to bid higher than last year's minimum bid".

There's still many more rounds of bidding sessions for me to master the art of bidding. I'm still staying optimistic at the moment. Not trying to be too crazy following the crowd in taking the same course and bidding crazily high.

Modules bidding, modules bidding...

Spent some time today reading through all sorts of documents relating to my university course as well as the bidding processes. At least after some reading and planning, some things no longer appear as confusing as they first seem to be. I've finally got to see what are the courses that i had to take and what are those that will/can be double counted, and thus save me the trouble of taking more modules. Then, there's still the "sequencing" of the modules to be done. Since some modules has got pre-requisites, I gotta much sure that i plan my modules in such a way that the process will be smooth.

And so, after some planning and drawing, here's some math and some thoughts. Assuming that i do not wish to declare/have any majors, i've have to clear 39CUs (39CUs does not mean 39 modules since some mods are only 0.5CU). Assuming that I will just spend my regular term clearing mods, that gives me 5 CUs per sem. Not to bad i guess. Assume I want to declare a major with track for any of the finance major, i'll end up having to clear 42CUs. That will very very likely mean that i will have to spend one summer term clearing some mods, which can be a dull thing to do, considering summer should be a time to do non-academic stuff. Nevertheless, things still seem interesting, certain modules SEEM interesting! But of course, whether it is interesting or whether one can do well in the module is 2 totally different issue.

Took a short peep into the pass BOSS results and find them somewhat abnormal. Prices for different classes for the same subject can differ slightly (which i can understand why). Price differences for a particular class can be very big (which does not make sense to me). Imagine having the highest bidder at 40 odd dollars and the lowest bidder at 10? And yet, 10 is the minimum bid that all bidders have to place. Next, the price gap between the first and second round of bidding can get very high too. Just imagine bidding 70 odd dollars for a module which does not seem so "special". And so, I thought it's never a good thing to be forced to bid in the subsequent rounds.

More planning with my mods and reading of past BOSS results to be done by (hopefully) tomorrow before i go for econs camp on monday.

I've said this on facebook, but i'm still gonna complain about it here again! I failed my AW exemption test and had to take AW in term 2!! I still cant get the disappointment off, but I know there's nothing I can do. I'm seriously worried that AW will affect my GPA and subsequently other issues as well. BUT! I am very determined to do well for AW!

Modules modules modules

I received the email from SMU CEC regarding my result for the academic writing exemption test. Much to my disappointment, I had to take the module in AY 2011-12. Am i disappointed? Of course, but i guess its quite worrying as well. Reason being, its not easy to do well for the AW module. Its not that i'm particularly concern with wanting to have the "best" grade possible, but rather, i know that there is a certain GPA that I will have to maintain. I seriously hope that I will not do as bad in AW and that my overall GPA will still be above the requirements. I strongly believe that its not a bad idea to be taking academic writing. It's a module that will be beneficial to me. But i think there's a vast difference between wanting to take a module because it'll be useful to you in future, versus having to take the module and worrying if you can score.

I'm staring to worry about how much i'll have to mug through my university life in order to graduate from SMU. Let's do some math. Graduating with one single degree requires minimum 36 CUs, which works out to be 4.5 CUs per sem. Graduating with a double degree in econs and business requires a minimum of 43 CUs, which works out to 5.375 CUs per sem. Even after accounting for exemptions in certain courses, i'll still have to clear 5 CUs per sem. Sounds achievable so far. Now consider taking a major in business, which would mean a minimum increase of another 5 modules. That works out to having to take 6 CUs in some semesters! Now consider taking major with tracks (which requirements more modules)!! How is that going to be possible? Perhaps, I'll have to spend some of my summer studying and clearing modules. I hope that won't be the case though.

I'll be praying hard that the next 4-5 years will go smoothly and that AW will not be a burden to me, but instead be a totally new and great experience! Trying hard to stay optimistic..

-

Long list of academic talks to attend and more administrative stuff to be settled this week. Hopefully after attending all those academic talks, i will have a better idea of how things work and hopefully get settled down to seriously think through the modules for the next four years, before bidding starts next week.

Still haven found my momentum to continue revising. I'm seriously hooked onto the ipad. And thats not exactly a good thing. Gonna starting forcing myself to do something useful in the next few days..

University stuff

I think this deserves a separate post for itself.

Firstly, I made 3 wishes during my 21st birthday. One of them came true! =) I received the news days before i flew off to Europe. SMU offered me a scholarship for my undergrad studies. Frankly speaking, the original scholarship doesn't really cover much, but I told myself that I should be glad that at least I do not have to worry for my tuition fees. Looking back at how I've done at the scholarship interview, I thought I was really lucky to be awarded one. And so, before I flew off, I accepted their offer. Then, while in Europe, there was a even better deal to sweeten up the previous one. This time round, its really a very very good scholarship. =) And, I must say, based on my interview, I must indeed be very lucky to be given this scholarship. Really.

I went to check out on the PSEA usage and all. Was glad to know that the PSEA could be used in quite a wide range of university activities and fees. So now, I will say that I'm currently in a very good position even before I start school. At the very least, I know that I do not have to worry about my school fees and most importantly, I will not graduate with debts!

Well, all these depends on whether i could hold on to the scholarship for the 4 years, which I really hope and pray hard I could. With this scholarship, the "stakes" are kinda higher for me now. Reason being, should I fail to meet the requirement to retain the scholarship, I would have failed to meet the requirement to retain my second degree as well. So its really do well or lose both.

I still in quite a mess with all these university stuff. Having no idea what are the course requirements even till this point, not knowing if I am exempted from any modules or have to apply for any exemptions. I really need to go find some means to get all these info that I need.

Realized that most of these issues are not really "communicated" to freshmen. And it really sucks for us to have to know what info we need to know then find our own means to get the info that we need. It sucks to see all the others in other universities who are better informed about school issues while I'm still at a lost. I'm not emo-ing or being sad or complaining, but I just don understand why there wasn't much information given by SMU. Nevertheless, I will try to get whatever info i need. I'm still optimistic! =)

Back from Europe...

Determined to write a post before i go to bed.

First, I'm back from Europe!! Ok, very outdated "news", but ya, have been back from europe for about a week plus. Looking back, I think the whole trip has been a great experience. It was both a eye-opening experience as well as a learning journey. It was great, we had fun, but it could definitely have been better. Well, if I have the means to do such traveling again, I would definitely wanna have a trip with a longer duration, and travel at a more comfortable pace instead.

I'm still lazy to upload the photos to facebook because i find it really time consuming. Having to filter the photos, then tag and comment and stuff like these.. Lets see when will I ever get done with the uploading..

General Elections 2011

The past 10 days have been a great eye-opener and a great learning experience for me. Having followed the news during the campaigning period have made me learnt quite a lot and reflect/ponder about several issues that i may not have thought about.

As i was watching the results of this GE on the TV, my sis asked me why am i so interested in politics though I wasn't voting. I told her that its true these campaigning periods that we get to see and hear things on the other side of the whole story. I think growing up, we have been taught (or some would say brainwashed) to believing in the many good things that Singapore has achieved. But we do not get to see the "not so glamourous" side of certain policies. By going to the rallies, listening to the candidates' speeches or even reading their manifesto are really eye-opener for me (and in fact i would say for many others as well).

I would say I'm not anti-PAP. I think they have done well. The first generation of PAP leaders brought us from 3rd world to First World. The present leaders ain't that bad in dealing with certain difficult issues, like the previous economic crisis. I know there are good leaders in the PAP team. Some say, since PAP has done so much and has proven themselves, we should just let them have all parliamentary seats. Others would say that no matter what, we need to have opposition to act as a check and balance on the government. In my view, i think we need oppositions in parliament because i feel that the PAP have been focusing much on the big issues, like economic growth and stuff but has not been doing that well in hearing out what the people really wants, what are their concerns. All these i feel, the opposition will and can do a better job. I must mention that indeed there are PAP members who are concerned with those who have fallen behind and needs help. But, like what most people say, they may be concerned, they may debate this issues in parliament, but when it comes to voting for new amendments or passing new constitution, who will vote against their own party?

-> George Yeo vs Low Thia Khiang

Much have been said about the contest in Aljunied GRC. I too, have my own views on this issue. My stand has always been that George Yeo is a great minister, but the WP team is good too. Low Thia Kiang is good on the ground, Sylvia Lim have proven that she is much more capable than just NCMP.

George Yeo has said that the decision of LTK contesting in Aljunied was against the spirit of democracy and that it has caused emotional dilemma among the voters. But i think, its not LTK's decision to contest in Aljunied GRC that is against the spirit of democracy, but its the GRC system instead. If all candidates were to stand on SMCs, fighting individually, would the voters have faced any dilemma?

When LTK was still standing in Hougang SMC, PAP challenged him to contest in a GRC. When he goes to Aljunied, he says if voters chooses WP, they would lose 2 ministers. But wait, they put ministers in ALL GRCs. How then can LTK contest in a GRC and not causing any minister to lose if he were to have a serious contest and win a GRC??

They say the GRC system were implemented to protect minority rights and interests in Parliament. But everyone knows what exactly are the GRCs for, whether intentionally or not. Consider this. If the government could come up with NMPs and NCMP schemes to cater to the need of the people wanting a alternative voice in parliament, i believe they can always come up with better policies to ensure minority representation in parliament. Furthermore, i do not believe that only MPs of minority races can and will raise concerns of the minority. There's a big difference between protecting the minority interests and the hard truth of wanting to stay in power.

So it brings us to the point that the very reason why we lost a good FA minister is not because we disagree with him or the policies that he came out with, but rather, its a shortcoming of a GRC system. When you lose, you lose the whole team no matter how good an individual may be.

Next, many knows how first-timers for PAP have been sent to GRCs to "ensure" that they get into parliament to get the experience that they need and then fight the next election as incumbents. This has led to some led to some discontent among the voters since some undeserving candidates may have entered parliament through the GRC and perhaps others are still staying in Parliament because of the system.

I have not thought of any good reasons as to why we need to have a GRC system. But today, as i was watching MBT giving his victory speech, I was thinking if he were to stand as individual candidate, he will lose votes because of his appointment as MND. There will certainly be voters who vote against him simply because of the high housing prices. I started asking what mistakes have he made apart from the high cost of housing, which wasn't really he's fault, since it was the main policy deciding how new houses should be priced that caused this whole problem. And this would mean that its very likely that certain ministers get voted out each GE just because they are holding some tough appointments. And thats not necessarily good to have a new minster every 5 years.

-> CPF

This was another issue that i started thinking about after a rally speech by sylvia lim. CPF is a very complication policy which i do not fully understand how it works because i have not been reading on how it functions. But just by some simple thinking, this was what i concluded.

The whole issue was about increasing the limit for CPF to be redrawn by age 55. They are planning to increase it to close to SGD150,000. This means, by age 55, you can withdraw your money in CPF such that it leaves SGD150,000 in the account for retirement. SGD150,000 by age 55. Consider that i start work at age 25, i'll be working for 30 years. Within 30 years, i need to earn such that i contribute more than 150k. Contribution to CPF is 35.5% of your salary. So you know how much you gotta earn.

Not ignoring the very fact that you may have to buy a HDB flat too. Average 4 room flat is about SGD385,000. Consider you and your spouse each pay half of the total fee and contribution to Ordinary Account is about 21%(average), how much more will you have to earn each month? More than SGD3.5k a month?

Some feels that this amount is obtainable. But do consider this. If you/your parents/your children were to fall sick and require money from CPF, then you would be reaching SGD150,000 by 55. This is the hard truth for Singaporeans.

Too tired to continue...

Comment 1: michelle lee lost. =(

Comment 2: SPP did not win any seats. =( (i hope they go for NCMP)

Comment 3: Workers Party won 6 seats! =)

Having the patience to wait...

One of the most uncomfortable feeling is to wait.. to wait for something that you don't even have an idea if the thing you are waiting for will be arriving any time soon. Not even having an idea if it'll ever arrive.

Its time for Plan C. My last plan.

2nd chance.. Perhaps the final one.

Feeling so weak and so tired right now. Totally regretted having my dinner at that so-called cafe. Food is inedible, serving is pathetic (which may be a good thing since taste sucks), not value for money and cause me to feel so unwell! I dare say that cafe will never get to earn even a single cent from me ever!

Anyway, was helping ZH with his visa application today. Realised how inflexible or maybe rigid their systems are. First, they do not accept any other methods of payment other than cash. Then they request for the cash to be of the exact value. Its not that the pricing is inconvenient for applicants to pay in exact, but its just something that's so rigid. Luckily and surprising, no payment is required from me. Otherwise i'll have to withdraw money and re-queue in order to apply for the visa. And the queue was so long and with only 2 counters serving. At least things when smoothly there. Gonna go back again tml to collect the passport back.

After that, i went to kino looking for a book that can keep me occupied from lunch till evening and bought this book on investment. Its a book that is written based on and with reference to the local market, which is rather rare, since most books take reference for the US which may have different rules for us. Its very interesting knowing that there are so many different ways to play with stocks related investment products or methods. It seem interesting, but definitely has its own fair share of risks. Furthermore, its not easy to fully understand how each investment means work. I tried, but was stuck on some calculations. Perhaps i have not understood the concept fully yet.

Anyway, all the above isn't really the main point. Here it is. After my "poisonous" dinner, i received a call from someone from SMU, which i guess is a present student. As i was wondering what could be the reason behind the call, 2 things came to my mind - orientation issues and the results from the previous round of scholarship interview. Surprisingly and disappointedly, he said "I heard you have appealed for your scholarship application..." I was like... HUH?!?! Anyway, in short, he was trying to ask me to go for another scholarship interview this wednesday. This time, a "lower-tiered" one.

Reason for me being surprised was because I never expected another round of interview for this scholarship. I've always thought that they will use my previous round of interview to gauge if i deserved any scholarship. And so, I was kinda expecting a "you are granted..." or "you are rejected..." kind of answer. And the reason for me being so disappointed was simply because of the guy who called me. It just left me with a very bad impression - on him and the scholarship. Comparing between this and the previous rounds, the disparity is significant. Makes me wonder if this was a scholarship that offers opportunity for personal development or merely a source of financial aid. It will be very sad if it was the latter.

On second thoughts however, I realised that this may not necessarily be a disappointing news. If i were to see it differently, This is just like a second opportunity for me to secure a scholarship. And I'm pretty sure its gonna be a final chance from SMU, and so, I can't afford to fail this time round. But, again, I guess I would not be overly optimistic or having a serious view on the scholarship. Having been rejected for previous scholarships, I started having a more rational opinion on such matters.

Can say that I'm desperate for a bond-free scholarship, but even if this (which i believe is within reach) fails, I will end up with the very very last option. Its not a bad scholarship, but the application process may be tedious since it will most likely clash with europe trip. Let see how thing goes.

Interesting phrase someone shared with me. Kinda makes sense after spending time thinking through. "Sit down before fact as a little child, be prepared to give up every conceived notion, follow humbly wherever and whenever abysses nature leads, or you will learn nothing."

Random thoughts..

Was reading through someone's blog about going down to the airport to see airplanes.. It brings back past memories and makes me feel like going there just to see planes taking off and landing. =) Sadly, i feel that we had not really spent our time wisely to do things that we truely enjoy.

Europe Planning

01.53am.. I'm too hungry and too tired to continue searching for hostel for our europe trip. I must say the whole planning process isn't easy. Lots of hurdles that just won't seem to end... and just seem tough to overcome. After spending close to 4 hours reading and searching, i managed to shortlist hostels for 5 out of the 17 nights that we are staying overnight. Not bad i guess. Its just that the whole process is rather tiring. But at least we managed to get something planned out. At least we know that we are close to settling the main issues for the trip - accommodation and train reservations. That is, of cos, after we managed to crack our brains to come up with an itinerary that could bring us to places we wanna go/see/experience in 27 days. Its more or less done and I think its a big achievement.. really. =)

A trip for 5, yet the planning process only involves 2. Sometimes, i do get frustrated that the 2 of us are doing so much for this trip, especially when things don't go smoothly or certain issues just appear from nowhere. I'm not blaming them for no chipping in to plan. Because i feel that its tough to get all 5 of us involved with each planning. And each planning would not be as efficient as it is now. But, I feel that they should at least try and co-operate as much as possible, and do what they can do/have to do on their part. I feel like i'm just tour agent sometimes.

Whats worse is that i haven gotten back my money from all the reservations back from them and there are more reservations to be made. It just irritates me when i feel that they are not pushing hard to pay me back and just simply dragging on. Guess its precisely this point that maybe i feel we are merely "spoon-feeding" all info/planning to them. Its sad that it turns out that way.

Next, we(the group) seem to have varying views on several issues regarding this trip. Alot, alot of differences, which i don't think its appropriate to mention here. I just hope that these differences in expectations are simply due to the fact that we had not shown them the plans yet. Hopefully thats the case. Hopefully...

All the negative issues aside, I'm still glad we made some SIGNIFICANT progress. I can't stand not emphasizing the word significant! Things will have more clarity/can proceed smoothly once we settle those major issues! And i foresee that to be happening soon.. =) And there are still tiny tiny issues to sort out after that.

Someone just transferred money to me!! =) Things aren't that bad after all these complains afterall! LOL.

My expectation of this trip is quite high actually. And i hope it'll end up as how we planned. I'm determined to plan thoroughly for this trip, since its the first time i'm planning an overseas trip to somewhere i never land on before and for such long period of time. I started to question myself if all these trouble is worth it or would it be better to simply follow tours. Haha.. I know i'll not regret all these. Its all about the experiences. From the start of planning to the end of the trip, till we finally touched down safely back to Singapore.

Planning aside, it has been 9 days since i quit my part-time job and i have not settled down to start studying/revising. I really got to get my motivation back.. soon!

Procrastination

As usual, procrastination sets in...

Sometimes, there's just things up there in my mind that i want to do/needs to be done and yet did not managed to achieve.

Its quite some time since the release of this year's A levels results. There's still many issue that i have not thought about or get it all figured out. I have yet to really sit down and consider if SMU econs will be the course that i really like/enjoy/one which i can cope.

I'm desperately trying to secure a scholarship for myself now. Really regretted dragging everything till after NS. Now, i don even know if there's any out there thats suitable for me. Even if i found one, getting accepted is another major issue. SMU LKCSP is completely over. Not that i'm still hoping to get in, but i'm still praying hard that i will get some form of scholarship that will cover my tuition fees. Any one... Conclusion: desperate and hopeless..

Cherishing the things you have, yet not letting them limit your dreams..

I kept thinking of the things that wei lin wrote on her blog and what she said makes sense to me. And i can say i understand the way she feels. Sometimes, friends and families are the ones that are truely important to us, are the ones that we truely cherish, yet at some point in life, they are the ones who will crush your dreams, limit your dreams of achieving certain things. They may be doing this with a positive reason, yet it may not be always good. All parents do have worries for their children. But i don't think i would wanna be tied down and limit what i wish to do just because of certain thoughts of others. In life, if you don cherish the opportunities that are presented to you along the way, you may just miss that opportunity for good. And when that opportunity comes and you don take that first step, you shall never step out of that comfort zone.

I guess its all about striking a balance between achieving one's aim and managing our friends' or family's thoughts/worries/expectations. But of cos, i doubt it will stop me from "dreaming big". =)

I wish to travel to many many different places. Who don't? =)

=)

I think i need to find back the moltivation to get things going on. Felt like i lacked the self discipline to get things done. Its getting alot worse when certain things that are not pretty much within my control ain't turning out fine too.

I haven got started with my self study/revision as what i planned. Have been dragging on with the time. Overseas trips ain't getting anywhere too. No firm plans for europe or vietnam yet. Really gotta start forcing myself to be in the right gear to get things start once and for all.

There's one thing that has been on my mind these few weeks. It has been weeks and i haven gotten any replies, and that, isn't really a good news at all. In fact, the longer it drags, the more worried i am and the less confidence i have, considering the kind of confidence level that i have now in getting a positive reply. I'm not really aiming for the very best, for i know the chances are really slim (perhaps even zero). But i just wished that i can get something that can offer me more than just the bare minimum. And something that will last the full 4 years. Cant really do much now, since i've screwed it up. =(

First Post in 2011

Alright, it has been a really long time since i last blogged. Its pretty surprising that i din blogged on new years eve too.

Have no particular thing on my mind that i wanna blog about. its just random i guess.

Seems like my life's alittle out of control. There's so many things i wanna do, so many things that needs to be done, but i just don have the time/can't be bothered/cannot bring myself to concentrate on achieving them.

There's afew things thats on my mind that i'm seriously worried about now. there's 2 big day coming up and i have yet to prepare for any of them. i know i cant afford to waste these chances, and i know i want them desperately. I guess i'll just have to present a confident side of myself and i seriously do need alot of luck... loads of it.

i really really need to get myself a _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

Apart from that, I wanna travel to more places.. I wanna see more of the world! And thats my new aim in 2011. To travel as much as possible!

I still have not done anything regarding my 21st yet.. Haiz... still stuck in somewhere, wondering what should i do next/do best.

So many things are just happening/gonna happen at the wrong time. Or perhaps, i have not made much wise choices to make them perfect..