I've been thinking of quite a few things these few days while in Tekong but I'm just plain lazy to recall everything and write it here.

SITest is over. Guess i did pretty alright. Not very well, not up to my expectations, but i guess its good enough. =)

A levels results are coming out soon. I'm not nervous. Just feeling lost i guess. Not nervous because having straight As no longer mean much to me. I used to be aimming for the best results and to top the cohort. But not now I'm sure. All these are no longer important. Because the "moltivation for me to strive for all these" are gone. And I'll be contended to just have the results that would enable me to get into the course and uni that i want to go to. But i've not thought of what i want exactly yet. And thats why I'm feeling lost and hoping that the results will not be released that early.

I've made up my mind about going to command school and have indicated my choice too. My buddy says that you'll need to have "moltivations" to help you get through the tough trainings in command schools. I agree totally with him. I know what i've got and what i don't. Hope i would regret the steps that i shall take from now on.

I was not chosen for the MP interview. Neither am i chosen for intel. Disappointment is the only thing i can say i guess. Nobody would know how i feel and there's just no one i can turn to to share all my feelings.. just because not everyone understands. I curious to know the criteria for MP selection. I'm curious to find out why i did not meet their requirements. I know all these are no longer important, but i'm just curious.

Gonna POP like real soon. I don't really know if i should be happy about it or what. Some things are just hard to explain.

NS stuff aside, I think i'm starting to enjoy my life more now.. in a different manner from the past. I'm spending my time doing more fulfilling stuff i guess.

Was thinking of buying a MP4. Went looking for it briefly today. Didn't buy yet. And by dinner time, i decided not to buy one. I just don wanna regret spending half or over half of my pay on it. its not exactly worth it actually. I don really need a MP3 or 4 urgently now actually.

I just don know, but i'm confussed. Too many things in my mind. Too many things that has yet to be decided. Too many things to think through. Too many too many stuff.. really. I really need a long LONG break. away from everything and just let my brain rest. Its contradicting actually. I didn't really get to use my brain in NS and yet now i'm sounding as though my brain's stressed up.


As much as i want to,
i know i cant.
Because i just cant get it through..
And i don have the confidence to do so.